HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

So annoying! I've been watching Angel since its premiere in... neh, not going to bother. Anyway, it's a pretty good show, or at least it was until maybe, this season. Anyway, this character Winifred was killed and inhabitated by this super demon from very ancient times. So, she used to be like, all-powerful in the ancient times whenever that was with the demons all ruling the earth and crushing man underfoot and such.

So, now, she inhabits this girl, and in the process, kills her (oops!), only to find that her empire has long since crumbled away, and despite her fighting prowess, immortality, and ability to fuck with time, she's pretty much powerless.

Okay, that's all fairly interesting, the idea of a former god being rendered mainly powerless and having to try to cope with it and all, you know, that's a solid idea. But you know what? She's fucking annoying.

She's the most obnoxious god-creature I've ever seen in text, type, or whatever. God! She doesn't shut up! Every one of the last four or however many episodes she's been in, she keeps talking and talking, and whining, and going all, "Oh, I used to be all awesome and you were the cow turds on my 'shroom, and now what am I? I'm nothing." It's the equivalent of one of those old guys talking about the golden days and they're going, "Yeeeap. Time was, you could buy three dimes for a nickel." Just shut up, Old Timer.

And always with the Goth language. Oh, you quaked in horror. Your purpose was naught but to serve me. You think an ancient demon chick would learn to be less fucking dramatic. Maybe her way of crushing the tiny ants involved irritating them to death. I am your god, and you are nothing. Nothing, I say! Cower in fear, for I am the demon of demons. I am the destroyer of all! Fuck you.

And you know what just happened at the end of this episode? They took away her power so now she can't time-fuck and she's not as strong or anything. Oh great! NOW she'll stop whining! FUCK!

Nicky

Aim: Jake Aimer
MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com. (0) comments

What's the deal with the news? They waste so much time. You think a show about the important events that take place in New York City and in the world would have no trouble filling 50 or so minutes of airtime. But I must be mistaken.

I guess there just isn't much going on these days. You know what I saw? A three or four minute segment on a four-year-old that fell out of a window.

Why? Okay, I see the news segment, I go, "Huh. Ah hah. The kid is in critical condition. ExTREMELY critical condition? Well! Then what? What possible purpose does this story serve? Am I supposed to send a card to the family? Am I supposed to study the effect of blunt force trauma on a child's spine? Does it inspire me to lock my windows for fear of falling out? What have I learned that I can possibly apply to my life? It doesn't warn me about anything, it doesn't tell me about something I could be doing, it doesn't tell me about things that are happening that I might need to act on or somehow form an opinion about in the future. I don't need to form an opinion about a baby falling out the window.

NEWSLACKEY: So, what do YOU think about the baby falling out the window?
Me: Well, it's sad. Sounds painful.
NEWSLACKEY: It sure does, Tom.
Me: Tom? Who?
NEWSLACKEY: The little man in my head who tells me to do things!
Me: Mm... I think that's an earphone.
NEWSLACKEY: Ear... phone?
Me: Never mind.

I don't know, I guess there's nothing to report on these days. Okay, there's new fighting going on in Iraq, there's... come on! There are billions of interesting things going on in the world! And even the news stories that are actually interesting that they do, those could easily use an extra three or four minutes! What are you talking about babies falling out of windows? You want to do that? Fine! Say, "In local news, a baby fell out a window. He is in critical condition." That's it. That's all you said anyway. Jesus!

Okay, okay... I'm done, I'm good.
Back to you, Asshole!

Nicky

AIM: Jake Aimer
MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com. (0) comments

Not a lot of updates lately, as you can see, but I will continue doing this until I go so long without writing a post that the providers take away my website and sue me for criminal neglect. You know, some people have a problem with being neglected. Not me. I love it. I don't actually like the word, because it sounds like some weird Australian Aborigine dish that's really delicious and you're all like, "Mm! What is this?" And they're all like, "Wallaby embryos," and you're like, "Oh... on second thought this tastes like wallaby embryos!" And then you vomit all over them, and BAM, suddenly you're not cool enough to have diplomatic immunity and the tribe impales you on their pointy sticks and leaves you for the platypi and kangaroo hawks, which descend to the ground at hundreds of miles an hour and with a giant bound, leap into the sky.

So, the thing about neglect is, you have to do it right. You can't just leave your kid in the house with nothing to eat or do. You have to make sure he's got a book or a computer or something, and he needs to have food that's easy to prepare, like ramen soup. Under those circumstances, I could conceivably stand to be neglected for days at a time.

Anyway, my point is, has anyone seen that commercial? For the facial wash or whatever? The one with the two girls who don't say anything except make primitive grunting noises? Right. No one seems to notice the sexual undertones of that scene. Okay, these two girls go into a bathroom in the morning, and they're supposed to be sisters or whatever, but they're both hot, and that's the important thing. So they're all washing themselves, rubbing facial wash all over their faces, and the whole time they're making these moans and grunts and smiling slyly at each other. What is going on here? And this wasn't Cinemax or even HBO, it's NETWORK TELEVISION. Now, I'm just as into lesbians as the next guy (and a few of you girls: You know who I'm talking to. Eh? Eh?) but I was shocked. I mean, I found myself asking if this kind of thing is allowed on network television. They have to make a huge deal about Janet Jackson's breasts, but they don't do anything about a minute long ad that shows to girls who have clearly engaged in sexual activity WITH EACH OTHER during the past several hours. SISTERS, no less. Disgusting. Absolutely terrible.

If you need me, I'll be watching the Christianity/Hallmark channel.

Nicky

AIM: Jake Aimer
MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com. (0) comments

What's the deal with peppers?

I mean hot peppers. Why are they spicy? I mean, I like them, sure, but what are they for? I know from science class that plants like to spread their seeds around to different areas, and a main way to do this is by having animals eat them and carry them around for a while. So, how does that work? Are there animals that eat hot peppers?

I mean, I can't see a deer eating a jalapeño pepper, or if it did, I can't see it eating another one.

Well, that's all.

Nicky

AIM: Jake Aimer
MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com. (0) comments

Okay... the "not feeling guilty about not posting" thing didn't work. Which means I'm here with another post, which is uninspired but indicates my existence.

Anyway, I've been playing a lot of Medal of Honor: Allied Assault, which may contribute to why I haven't posted much in the past two weeks. It's quite a good game, but it hardly runs on my computer. And this is rather sad, because the game is about two years old. But my computer is almost that old and it was a weak one at the time. Anyway, the game is pretty cool. You play a specially trained soldier sent on a variety of interesting missions during World War II and junk. Some of the missions are just really annoying, but most of them are a lot of fun. The multiplayer is also good, although I DIE every FREAKING SECOND. Okay, maybe every 15 seconds. I'm not... I'm not good.

So... what's in the news... nothing, I guess. I heard this quote, approximately from Mr. Bush the other day. He said, "The terrorists declared a war on America. And I'd like to continue that war."
That seemed like kind of a stupid thing to say. I mean, I know he's trying to say, you know, "We will match their fury with equal vigilance" or something to that effect, okay. But I mean, usually you want to END wars, or at least pretend you do. But to say you want to "continue a war"? That's not good.

God, I know I had stuff to say. I've been thinking about plenty of things to say over the course of whatever, but now I can't remember most of them. Hey, guess what I'm not doing right now? I'll give you a hint: history homework. Oh. Oops.

Well. This is no good. I've just been sitting here for five minutes, neither typing or working. I think that's my cue to leave. Or as they say in the theater world, exit. No... I'm definitely going with "leave" here.

Perhaps you'll see more postage from me in the near future. Perhaps. Not a promise. Bye.

Nicky

If anyone wants to brave the Allied Assault multiplayer interface and contact me for a game or two of multiplayer, contact me at:

AIM: Jake Aimer
MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com. (0) comments

Well, I haven't written anything for a while, and I'm still not. I'm just going through another dry spell. I figure this time, instead of struggling against it and feeling bad, I'll just go with it. I'll have something new out eventually, you can be sure of it. Just not soon.

Nicky

AIM: Jake Aimer
MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com. (0) comments

Ungh... It's been a while since my last post. Feel obligated, need more post. Okay... what's happened during my spring break? Talked to people, ate food, used computer.

I've been back into this Super Nintendo emulator thing for the past month or so and let me say some stuff:

Super Mario RPG is quite a good game. I got sort of tired of it about 4/5 through, but I had to finish because it's such a short game. I would have shamed my proud Chinese ancestors otherwise.

Super Mario World is harder than a diamond watching porno. Okay... it's not that hard. I'm just terrible at platform games.

Yoshi's Island is also fairly hard. Because I suck. Whaa, whaa, whaa, says Baby Mario. So I throw an egg at him. Whatever.

I saw Hellboy yesterday, and if I'm not mistaken, I enjoyed it. Yes, I'm pretty sure I did. Ron Perlman was great of course, as were most of the supporting cast. There was this clockwork Nazi guy who was really cool. His veins were filled with sand, and instead of a heart, he had these gears, and he wound himself up. Yeah, I have no idea how that works either, but it was pretty freakin' cool. He had these blades that he spun around and killed people with. They were all like "whisswhisswhisswhisswhiss!" and six guys would just fall down. Just some cool stuff. I admit some of the stuff was like "meh?" and I would like to have seen Hellboy fight more stuff instead of just the same monster over and over again, but I rather enjoyed the movie. On a scale of 1 to 10, I rate this movie, "big."

I also saw Donnie Darko, on DVD. It was good. It's all sci-fi and stuff, and there's this guy in a giant, evil, bunny suit, and weird, confusing things happen that require you to watch the movie at least twice, and probably one of those times you should listen to the commentary, and... yeah, it was cool. Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal are in it, as well as Jena Malone and some other folk. It's a cult classic, people, so you should see it. I award this movie "good prize." Also, I shall provide the 3 Marketeers with this tasty quote: "Donnie Darko is a sexy, edge-of-your seat, thrill ride."

Well, that's it for now.

AIM: Jake Aimer
MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com. (0) comments

So, I'm watching 24 right? And Jack Bauer breaks into this woman's house with his partner guy, and this chick it is like, "You're not taking me to jail, Biotch! Un un un!" or something like that, and Jack's like, "You're not going to jail, we'll turn you over to MI:6 (Britain's CIA-type thing), a foreign agency, where your constitutional rights will be void."

Yeah... we're talking England here, right? Ah, what will those uncivilized brutes do to that poor woman?

Brit: Hello, Ma'am. Tell me your secrets.
Woman: No!
Brit: Please do.
Woman: No!
Brit: All right, perhaps we're going about this all wrong... would you like some tea?
Woman: Well, all right. Sure!
Brit: Well, too bad! You may have no tea! Oh, that would be horrible.
Woman: Oh, it's okay, I don't... really... you know, need any tea...
Brit: No, no, I insist.
Woman: Okay... you sure? Well, thank you—
Brit: But you can't have any sugar! Ah HA HA HA HA! How was that?
Woman: Oh, it was, it was really good... very evil.
Brit: Really? Are you sure? Brilliant! Now... can I get you anything?

See? See how this doesn't make much sense?

Okay, I'm gonna go now. Bye.

Nicky

AIM: Jake Aimer
MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com. (0) comments

Boredom... sets in. I beat Super Mario RPG a couple of days ago, which was part good and part bad. I liked the game but it was short enough for me. I got mad at it after a while, so I didn't mind parting with it. Except, what will take its place? Damn.

So, now I'm bored. Any ladies out there want to remedy that? Oh. Well, okay... I guess. I'll... just... oh. Fine.

I saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and I'll tell you, it moved me. And that's odd, because movies don't usually have much of an effect on my emotions. But, this was really a good movie. It's that writer guy, Charlie Kaufman. He makes those crazy movies. And it was well-made. I'm glad. I hope Hellboy is this good. It seems like critics and "normal" "people" have wildly divergent opinions, but I don't know. I'll have to see it mine own self.

I might really have to write a story or something. Or do my homework. Whatever. I have these stories I wrote over the course of 7th and 8th grade for English class, about this super hero guy and spirits and stuff, and they're pretty cool. I could copy/paste them up here on the web page, but I've got well over 50 pages there. I don't think anyone wants that. I mean, sure, it would give you old dogs something to read when you're avoiding improving your mind, but seriously.

If you say otherwise, drop me a line. Of cocaine. For my nose. I mean, email me.

Nicky

AIM: Jake Aimer
MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com. (0) comments

For a long item, I've felt this dread in me, this since of overwhelming foreboding. I think I need to write a story. I don't want to though. I haven't really done any creative writing outside of this website since sometime during the last school year. They used to make us do it in English class, and without that, I don't really write any stories. But I have all these damned IDEAS. God, that sucks. And I don't feel like I'm being intellectually stimulated to the best of my abilities at school, because it's an ART SCHOOL. There are plenty of creative, artistic people, but maybe not a lot who are capable of topping a B average. Oh well.

No, but I think I need to write a story, because these ideas germinate in me, and I think I can write good dialogue and such, but I can't get started, and I don't really feel the desire, but I feel the need, like these plans and characters are boiling inside of me, and it hurts like a bitch. But I don't want to compose an entire story—that's the hard part—ah! So conflicted! Someone should solve my problem.

Also, I was recently inspired by this Book-A-Minute web page, because they're cool; http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/
They summarize books into like, four sentences, and some of it's pretty funny. Anyway, I kind of wanted to do something like that, but how does that work? I could just do that for whatever book I'm reading, but I don't read nearly as much as I used to. I can summarize books I've already read, but just choosing books would seem arbitrary. What would be fun is if people emailed me asking me to summarize a book, but seeing as there are a lot of books, it's not THAT likely that I'll have read the book you suggest. It's worth a shot. I think I'll summarize the book I'm currently trudging through—Wonder Boys, by Michael Chabon—when I'm done reading it.

So, yesterday I was watching this Tenacious D DVD, and I saw all the episodes of the HBO series (there weren't many) and I realized something: they weren't very good. The episodes just weren't particularly funny. But Tenacious D itself rocks. Hm. I think the album is better than the contents of the shows, but that's just me. I was also reviewing my homemade tape of fights from the Matrix Reloaded, and I decided, once again, that those fight scenes are really cool. Say what you will about the movie, I'll probably agree, but I think the fight scenes are awesome. Sure, some of the stuff in the brawl with all those Smiths, and other things, look fake and wrong, but on the whole, there's some really exemplary work going on.

Wow, this post has been really deficient of paragraph breaks, hasn't it? Oh well, who cares. Anyway, the reason I was studying the fights is because, as PART OF MY CLASS, AT SCHOOL, I have to CHOREOGRAPH A FIGHT SCENE with a friend. Can you believe how cool that is? If you can't, it is because you are fools.

Oh, wait, now that I look, the paragraphs are just fine.

Okay, I'm leaving now.

Nicky

AIM: Jake Aimer
MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com. (0) comments

Well, I don't know if you've all checked the New York Times Hellboy review by now (http://movies2.nytimes.com/2004/04/02/movies/02HELL.html), but they've given it a big ol' thumbs up.

Now, I was gonna start this post all like, "Oh, I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore, I'm sick of posting, good-bye. April fools!" But then I figured you probably wouldn't read this until Friday, at which point you'd just be aggravated.

I don't really have much else to say now. SPRING BREAK! WHOO! As of Friday at 3:30—that's when my fucking school gets out—I will be on Spring Break, free to enjoy approximately one week and one half of a week away from class. I plan to chill with my friends from up in the stizzle (state, that is. Shut up.) Ben and Kosar, maybe see this phantasmo Hellboy shit. Also been planning to check out ESSM, which is, of course, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Supposed to be good.

So, in conclusion, I'll be free most of next week so feel free to contact me, using either my screen name or my email address. Be cool.

Nicky

AIM: Jake Aimer
MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.

Still gonna have a post on: Monday (0) comments