HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

As some of you know, Maddox is a crude little man who runs a website, similar to mine but meaner and much, much more popular (maddox.xmission.com). I never really exactly aspired to be like him or anything, because he's slightly more of an asshole than I want to be, but I have always admired his ability to generate a huge audience by professing hatred towards everything in the world, including his readers. I try to do that; I really do.

But there is one aspect of Maddox's style that I REFUSE to follow. That is, he will go on an unannounced hiatus for weeks at a time (so far it's been about a month) without writing anything. Yes, yes I know I've done that too, but understand that he receives thousands of hits a day and I get six or seven.

So yes, I don't have the same responsibility to his fans that Maddox does, but I do owe it to my three or four ravenous fans, the ones who check the site more than twice a day, to produce more words. Always more words.

Of course, a total lack of inspiration can make it hard to get anything written, but by GOD if the writers of "24" can do it, so can I.

Seriously, I will tell you the minute anything that could even be considered interesting happens to me, or if I imagine something interesting and decide it would make a pretty good lie to tell about myself, you will be the first to hear it.


Nicky

P.S.: Tell your friends how great I am so I'll get more fans. It's called "giving me incentive."

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (8) comments

I haven't felt the need to say anything lately, which demonstrates an alarming lack of something or other. As you know I have a cycle of blog enthusiasm, and I've been at one of the low points for the past few weeks. As ceremony dictates, I will attempt to get back into the game with a little warm-up post, such as this one. With luck, I will shortly find the inspiration to write some... stuff. You stay classy, San Diego.


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (2) comments

Half-Life 2 is the best game in the entire world. I was at my friend's house and he has the demo. And I asked to play.

It was about halfway into the first minute that I realized. It is the best game.

I didn't even complete the demo, but, it is the best game in the world.

Do you understand what it is like to rip a plank off of the wall and hurl it at an alien's face?

Half-Life 2 is the game God would play if he were a gamer.

I want a PC now.


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (1) comments

I checked out the iPod Shuffle. It's not so good. At first I thought it just shuffled songs and you weren't allowed to listen to them in order, but you can. It's still pretty lame.

For those of you who don't know what this is, it's an iPod with no screen and no scrolling wheel. It's basically a flash card (they're like hard drives but they have lower capacities and they're smaller and sturdier) that can play music. So, it holds about 240 songs, or more depending on what model you buy, and costs $99 and up. That's not so bad. But it's got no screen.

They couldn't have added a screen? It's not that hard. Like, a tiny little screen that says what song you're listening to. I don't think it has one of those. Walkmen have those.

But, hey, I really hated it at first but it's not so bad. For one, they start with a 500 MB capacity and they can hold other files, so you can use them as storage devices too. Also, they're no worse than any of the other low-end MP3 players. And they're compatible with iTunes; people like that. And it's so small. It's tiny. You know what they say: small is the new big.

But you just go to their website (http://www.apple.com/ipodshuffle/) and you read the marketing. Do it. It's ridiculous. It's so blatantly obvious that their marketers are trying to figure out a way to make this seem really, really awesome. "Life is random," they proclaim.

But I can't stay mad at a company who seriously warns "Do not eat iPod Shuffle," on their advertisement page.


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (0) comments

Oh, I see. CTU gives Jack Bauer a direct order, and he refuses? Well, he must have gone to the other side or gone crazy!

Every single fucking year they think Jack Bauer has defected.
Every single fucking year they're wrong and he's right.
They need Jack or the American States of Unitopia would have been black-presidentless, exploded, and ultra-virused within the past three years.

They should just change their name to the "Jack Bauer Support Squad."
(3) comments

Well, my friend Darian was asking me if I knew anything about Japanese legends. I had no idea, so I thought I'd make one up. All of y'all, just raise your hand when you think you recognize it. She never did. I cannot believe this, because she would actually know this kind of thing. Jesus. Some people are thick when you least expect it. And that was NOT a sexy double entendre. Jesus, you people are sick. I've edited out her responses, because it disrupts the flow and makes her look kind of dumb. If you're reading this Darian, I love you, you know I do.



What about the one with Yoshi.

You know?
Yoshi, the great dragon.

See, yoshi was this magnificent green dragon.
But he didn't have wings, see?
Kind of like a dinosaur.
One day, he was sitting around in this big box, because he could go inside boxes.
It was almost a cave, but not really.
Sulking about how he couldn't fly.
Suddenly his box was shaken up. He leaped out to see what had caused the commotion.
He found a short, round little man.

"Can you tell me how I may fly?" asked the Yoshi.
"I cannot grant you wings," said the small man.
"But there is a great demon who lives to the west."
"If we combine our strengths, we may defeat him."
"Perhaps then you shall win your wings."

So, the two set off, with the small man riding on Yoshi's back.
Along their way, they encountered many foes.
Some were giant turtles that walked upright, who with a bare touch from their hand, could shrivel a man to half his size, or even kill him!

The path was fraught with difficult platforms and ledges.

The small man and Yoshi nearly fell to their death many times.
After defeating the great demon's many minions, they finally happened on the castle of the Great Demon Who Lives in the West.
He lived in a giant castle, as many lords did.
Yoshi and the small man entered this castle, not knowing what would beset them.
This was their greatest challenge of all.
Um. That's all I really remember.
I'm pretty sure they defeat the demon at the end.

Did I mention that she short, round man was on his own quest?

I haven't even gotten to the part with the Princess Who Smells of Peach Blossoms!
..whoa!
She was the man's lover.

I don't know! This legend came from like, 1200 AD.
They had different standards back then.

There's all this other stuff too.
Like they visit the World of Snow.

There are many tales about the small, round man.

I think the original story was called...
I'm not sure, but it translates to like, "Legend of the Most Excellent and Supreme Mario, the Lord of the Eastern Lands."
Right, that was the little man's name.



She still doesn't get it. Jesus Christ.


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (2) comments

I think the new Elektra movie looks kind of cool! I'm... I'm drawn to it! I see the ads on TV and I say, "I'd kind of like to see that."

What's happening to me? Is there something wrong with me? Am I normal? (1) comments

Spoon is actually a cool band. I just wish those Spoon MP3s of mine didn't have weird little scratching sounds on them.

Anyway, you've all been asking me to post, and by all, I mean like, two people. Which is a significant percentage, really. My point is, leave me a lone and shut up. I appreciate it when you wake me up because I'm forgetting to post or something or I need motivation, but I really hate you guys. Do you realize how lucky you are to get a blog that doesn't suck, never mind actually entertain you? I can't even tell you how many terrible, terrible Livejournals I've been forced to wade through in the name of friendship.

And what's with that anyway? Do people really think those are interesting? Because they're not. They just aren't. Let me explain something about writing: you take an interesting topic and write about it in a way that doesn't make people shoot themselves in the eye with a staple gun, or you write beautifully and make sure to use a topic that doesn't demand the aforementioned staple gun. It's one, the other, or both. Good writing, interesting topic, or both. You cannot have neither of these and still be a good writer. Why do people tell other people about their lives? Almost everyone in middle class, Livejournal-using America either has a painfully boring life or does not in fact recognize the interesting aspects and write about those. Hell, my life is boring, but on the occasion I do talk about it, I try to actually describe it in a way that will be interesting and not suck.

I mean, I know most of these people are only writing for their friends and aren't trying to impress anyone with their writing prowess. But there are just things you don't want to do. For instance, don't passive-aggressively get back at people by dissing them on your blog and then casually telling all their friends that they should check out your Livejournal. I don't actually know anyone who's done that, but I'm sure it happens. Also, don't talk about stuff that even your closest acquaintances would never, EVER find interesting or want to know about. For instance, don't write, "Anyways.. They switched my T.A.. I got 'the new guy'. Lol. I guess he's supposedly pretty short.. School is in 4 days, my birthday is in 8 days.. Wonderful. Weeeee I hope to get one of the following.. LiveJournal, Corel Bryce 5.0, Sonic Adventure 2 Battle, Web cam, or a digital camera.. WoO.. Fun! Lol. Made a few more backgrounds, except Jer hasen't been ON so I can't SEND THEM TO HIM. -.- Oo. I think Jerry Springer is on now. Can't miss Jerry Springer! WoO.. ^.^ *Corney movie line* I'll be back."

Damn, I wish I had written that, but I have to give credit to Cassandra, (http://0o_cassandra_o0.tripod.com/Cassandra/). Well, that's her only entry. I'm hoping she realized that she should not major in journalism. And this is not an isolated instance of unfortunate blogging. You know how I found this? I typed in "livejournal" and the first name I could think of.

Still, I shouldn't be so mean, or so much of an elitist asshole. I'm glad the internet is giving the common people back their voice. I just wish they wouldn't use it so much. I think this problem stems in large part from the fact that people get a Livejournal, and then realize that they're supposed to write in it. And like me, they feel obligated to post something in there regularly. Therefore, people with nothing interesting to say will default to the next closest thing, saying something uninteresting and peppering it with internet slang.

As for me, I'm done with my obligatory posting.


Nicky


MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (6) comments

Relatives of youngsters, listen up: don't try to get the kid something thoughtful or educational. You are wrong. We don't want your stupid shit, unless it's food, because food can't fail. You know what teenagers like? Money. It's great stuff. It's like, it's like manifest opportunity. It's just as good as a gift certificate, but more versatile. Unless you've got a family who thinks that kind of thing is tacky. I don't know what to say for you guys. If you are a parent or a sibling, try not to give money, because that's not so good. But if you're an uncle or aunt, or even a grandparent, it's a good thing.

Anyway, I've been away for a few days and thought I should inform you on all the hot action I've seen. And by seen, I mean watched movies about.

First on the list, "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban."
If you are easily bored by uninteresting movies, don't see this. Maybe it wasn't boring, maybe. I still don't see what all the critics were going on about. As far as I could tell it was just as good or bad as the previous two. I really just... don't get it. Also, did you see all that sexual tension between Ron and Hermione? They were all holding hands and stuff! I totally don't remember that in the book. It was hot though, in a prepubescent kind of way.

What else? "Night of the Living Dead."
For those of you who don't know, this is one of the first modern zombie movies around and it caused a big stir when it came out in 1968. Since then we've learned to measure horror films by Japanese standards, so by comparison this is very close to being a comedy. It's not a bad movie, really. But it's not scary, that's for sure. One of the characters, a woman whose name I can't remember spends almost the entire movie sitting on a couch and staring off into space. That's the kind of job I'm looking for in the acting industry.

I also saw "Taboo," a Japanese movie.
This one was about members of the Japanese militia in 19th century Japan. I'm not sure exactly what the plot was; it was a tad complicated. Or it didn't make sense. There was a little bit of sword fighting in it, but it wasn't really a movie about cool fights. They were realistic-style sword fights. I don't have too much to say about this film, but if you're looking for the movie that the Seattle Times called "A gorgeously filmed study of homosexual lust," I guess you should go for it. I didn't like it that much though.

Finally, "Spellbound."
This is the story of eight heroic young men and women, eight of the 249 warriors who compete in the annual National Spelling Bee. I don't want to overpraise this movie, but I would say it is "epic in proportion" and that the characters "leap off of the screen." Actually, it was good. The kids and their parents were interesting and/or frightening. Some of these kids studied for eight hours a day for this thing. It's sad that they have nothing better to do. I mean, the winner does get 10,000 dollars, but seriously. There's nothing cooler for these guys to train obsessively for? Anyway, it was well made, and for a guy like me who thinks that spelling is definitely the next X-treme sport, it was a real blast.


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (8) comments