HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

The debate ended up not being so bad. Kerry made some good points, but Bush also managed to not come off like a total ignoramus. I think Kerry should have still done a better job defending himself and putting a positive spin on his actions.

Especially, the issue with him originally being in favor of the war, and then sort of pulling back on that opinion. He should have emphasized his statement: "We had the same information then and made the same choice, and we have the same information now, but now we have different opinions." I mean, Kerry should contrast the fact that Bush has stuck boldly to his original plan and statements despite all evidence to the contrary, and that Kerry saw new information and changed his mind. I mean, that's not flip-flopping, that's called "reasoning". Information is received and processed, and ideas are formed. With the introduction of more information, said information is processed and maybe, new ideas are formed. Logic. Reason.

Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (0) comments

Sorry, Fall season preview coming up later, but today, presidential deabets.

"Mr. President, if Kerry were elected on November 2nd, do you think he would not protect the United States as well?"
"Well, I don't think that's going to happen. I don't think I'm going to lose."

Answer the question, damn it!


You know... you know what? I really want to mock Bush... I hate his whole administration, but Kerry just isn't any more likable. I'm not saying he wouldn't be a better president, I'd vote for him just because he's someone else. He's just unpleasant. It's just like the Gore/Bush candidacy. It was between a man who really isn't president material in the first place and another guy with somewhat questionable policies. But Gore was boring and seemed to have no personality.

Once again, Bush comes off as a more likable person. What it comes down to is, Kerry's policies are better, but not radically better, and he has what amounts to no charisma. INFLUENTIAL DEMOCRATS, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, PAY ATTENTION: Pick a better candidate! What happened to John Edwards? Everyone liked him. And Howard Dean probably would have been okay, except everyone went all like, "Oh my gah, he yellin' at me! What going on?" John Kerry has had plenty of chances to mess up Bush's campain, but instead this turned into a year-long conversation about John Kerry's war record! WHO THE FUCK CARES? He went to war, Bush and Cheney didn't. Maybe he got shot a couple times, maybe he didn't, so what? Kerry should have said, "Look, stop bashing me and talk about the real issues." Or he should have shot right back, because it's not like Bush's military record is so spotless.

I don't know, I just don't know. It seems like we had better candidates to pick from. I mean, it seems that most people who don't like Bush want someone who's radically different from him. But here we have another guy in a high wealth bracket, with similar policies, who voted to attack Iraq. And people are saying, "Well, at least we know how Bush works."

Troubling. Very troubling.


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (0) comments

Act now.

So, obviously, I've got a huge potential in the movie industry.

My theory is that with my combination of esoteric good looks and slitty little Asian eyes, I can play anything from the soulful dreamer to the sinister "friend" who you wouldn't turn your back on. I'm like a big, closed box. I'm full of mystery, or as they say in France, "mystique".

Also, I look pretty evil when I tilt my head down and grin. The braces are very disconcerting. All shiny and made of metal. People have audibly gasped.

One day, before school started, I tried on this kid's trench coat and put on some sunglasses I had in my pocket, and just for fun, I did that Matrix dodge where Neo leans back and the bullets are all flying around him. And some girls were like, "OOH DO THAT AGAIN ITSO COOLOLOL!" And one of them took a picture of me with her camera phone. Later that morning, I was in the basement at school without the trench coat, and I don't know why, but I did the dodge again. And some other person was like, "Do that again! That's cool!"

So, I'm clearly destined to be some sort of action hero. People say I look like Keanu Reeves. I could be the next Keanu Reeves, like an alternate, bizarro-world Keanu Reeves, the kind with talent.

I watched my old video of the Matrix again a few days ago, and I admit I'm finally at the point where the real thing can no longer compete with my rosy memories of it. Oh well. Not my fault that a movie isn't just as good the fourth or fifth time. In fact, it should be better considering that now I've seen the sequels.

Now that gets me thinking about Max Payne, a game I've been highly interested in since its release in 2001, but only recently got the courage to TRACK IT DOWN and buy it for $10 at J&R. God bless those people. So, it's a fine game—which uses the slow-motion "bullet time" techonology, which I will assume you already know about because I'm not going to explain it either way—and it is full of Hong Kong-style gun fights, most of which one might replay dozens of times just because it would be even cooler if you shot that guy so he flipped over the guard rail. Some might say this game has "no educational value", but I would call them fuckholes. I learned the value of obscenities, and I also learned that there's almost no end to how cool it is to shoot people until they die. I also discovered that a story is much darker and has far more depth when you use metaphors. Like, "The blog was a work of genius, written by a man whose blood coursed with intellect. I could tell his mind sparkled with wit, like a 14 karat diamond under the watchful eye of a suspicious jeweler."

The side effects of this game are that you might... occasionally, and I'm talking maybe, six, seven times a day, lean back in your chair, yelling in your best gangster voice, "It's Payne!" and then shouting "BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!" while firing, in slow-motion, two imaginary Beretta handguns that you hold in each hand. It tends to really disrupt the class. But I assume it's only a temporary effect, and will go away in a few weeks.

So, the entirety of this post took about 45 minutes to write, and I mean steady, concentrated work. Fortunately there's an entire section I'm omitting that you'll get to read later. Ah, it feels good to be back.


Coming next post!
Fall TV season guide!
Featuring:
very few shows actually being mentioned!
righteous indignation!
I hate FOX!
digressions!

Everything you've come to expect from an OkaYeahWhatever post! Or whatever I call the site these days.


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com
AIM: Jake Aimer (3) comments

If it fell sideways or something, it would get inside my open windows. Okay, this is what we in the biz call a "guilt post". Nothing much to say, just checking in to show I'm still around. I've felt supremely uninspired lately, but I'll probably come back better and stronger, only to quickly get bored again. While you wait, why don't you check out some of the new links I've got up. They are guaranteed fun! Or at least, they are, or were, at some point, fun, to me. Right, so there you go.

Nicky Y.

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (0) comments

No, it's not "Tribute", by Tenacious D. I mean, come on. That is just a tribute. No, that's not the greatest song in the world. But think for a while: what sort of requirements are there in acquiring the much vaunted status of greatest song in the world? Maybe you'll be able to guess as I narrow down the necessary qualities.

Well, great songs have meaning, whether how the song ties into a memory in your life, or how you relate to it, or any way that it has an impact on you. This song does all of those things for me. Many great songs have some technical skill behind them, but this is not always necessary. I will say that this song has some real artistic AND technical merit. It's also great for a song to have powerful, meaningful lyrics. While the lyrics of this song are not intricate, they are some of the most powerful lyrics heard in modern music.

And above all else, the song needs to ROCK. A great song grabs you by your loins and doesn't let go until it's had its way with you.

Well, by now, I think you've guessed the song.


That's right, the theme from Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers.


Dear God, that song is the pinnacle of rockitude! It begins with the mighty cry, "Power Rangers!" and a roaring guitar smashes in with the chords, witch cascade into a solo of mind-blowing proportions. The unbreakable call returns again and again: "Go, go, Power Rangers!" and the guitar wails ascent.

This my friends, is the kind of music found only at the beginning and end of the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers TV show.


Nicky Young

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (7) comments

Not really. The Hulk wasn't painful all of the time. Only most.

Okay, I've been promising this much vaunted post for... over ONE week. While watching "Garfield: the Movie" on the plane home from Colorado, I decided I could disperse the drudgery by writing whatever thoughts occurred to me in my journal. So here, I present them to you.

The Thoughts I Experienced While Watching "Garfield: the Movie" on the Plane Home From Colorado, and Then Wrote in My Journal.

I woke up today more desolated than ever. It becomes ever more apparent to me that life is nothing but a pool of dark ruin. I want nothing but to sleep in the cool embrace of death.

Hey! You were NOT supposed to read that part! What the hell is wrong with you! Get out of my room! I HATE you! Go away.

And now, the real Thoughts I Experienced While Watching "Garfield: the Movie" on the Plane Home From Colorado, and Then Wrote in My Journal.


-Why doesn't the actor that plays Jon look at all like he does in the comic? His hair isn't even curly!
-The movie is actually worse than the comic.
-Why is Garfield animated and the other animals aren't? That doesn't make a lick of sense.
-Jennifer Love Hewitt is hot!
-Bill Murray is more convincing as a cat than Breckin Meyer is as a cat owner.
-(Just added): What kind of name is "Breckin"?
-Isn't Nermal the cat supposed to be cute or something?
-Why doesn't Garfield walk upright? He's supposed to walk upright.
-And what's the deal with Bill Murray? Does Billy boy have a big spinny wheel on his desk? And he spins it and it tells him what movie to star in? "Okay, Lost in Translation! What's next? Garfield?! But... but! Well... if the wheel says it, it must be done."
-It's funny when you hurt a cartoon animal, but not when you hurt a real dog.
-Oh wait, yes it is. Oh! You can push a dog, but you can't hit it.
-Why are their so many reggae songs in this movie?
-Jennifer Love Hewitt? She's hot!
-Hey fatty: shut up!
-HOT!
-Did you hear about Paris Hilton offering like, 5,000 dollars as a reward for finding her dog? Hah!
-They're gonna give the dog electrical shocks? Finally!
-Ha! It's hilarious when cats burp!
-Why do they keep saying "cul-de-sac"? It's not a funny word and it's not in the comic.
-Oh yeah, and why does his mouse friend sound like a Dominican drug dealer?
-Shut up man, you're not Hispanic. You're a mouse.
-Apparently, cats can fall 40 stories, break through the roof of a van, land in several boxes of lasagna, and be totally fine.
-Apparently, neither a dog nor a cat are capable of leaping over a two foot box.
-Ha ha! Animals are mauling that dude! Now they're shocking him. With electricity! Wait, that looks very painful.
-More reggae? WTF? Is... is Garfield Jamaican? Is that what I've been missing the whole time?
-Have you noticed that talking vermin always sound like minority stereotypes? That's appealing.

Well... that was disappointing. Not very amusing at all. Which shows you shouldn't try to write or do work on a plane. It was fun for me though. It kept me from paying all of my attention to the throbbing screen that sat in front of me. The writing acted like a siphon, allowing me to divert my mighty intellect from the television's hypnotic glow. I was at risk of complete absorption.

Okay, then. See you in a bit.

Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (1) comments

Sorry about not posting for as long as it's been, and the Garfield thing is still coming eventually.

So, the Hulk. The vast and epic battle between man... and the beast WITHIN. And vicious giant poodle dogs.

Speaking of the dogs. In this one scene, Bruce Banner, the main character has turned into the Hulk and he sees Jennifer Jennifer Connolly, and then he gets attacked by three huge vicious Hulk dogs. This scene drags on for what must be at least ten minutes, while the Hulk punches dogs, throws dogs at trees, hits dogs with tree trunks, hits dogs with rocks, kicks dogs, punches dogs in the TESTICLES, and fights dogs on top of tree branches, Crouching Tiger style. What the hell? No one cares.

The Hulk was half an hour of implausible action scenes, interspersed with 20 minute scenes of tearfully uninteresting exposition and dialogue. I guess it's supposed to be interesting, about how repressed and angry Bruce Banner is, but it's hard to care about a character who, himself, has no personality.

He just sits there, perfectly still, displaying no emotion... until he becomes angry, which is usually because of a dream or some mild perturbance. Then it's a whole new story. Eric Bana, an otherwise exemplary actor I'm SURE, indicates rage with hyperventilation/unsteady breathing, and occasional trembling. After that, he, it seems gratefully, relinquishes his difficult job to his much bigger, much greener, much less existent body double.

And what is up with the Hulk? In this movie he grows sometimes up to 20 feet tall, leaps distances of several football fields, and falls from the outer edges of the atmosphere into the OCEAN, with minimal harm, then inexplicably tunnels under the streets of San Francisco to emerge, a-roarin' an' a-bellowin' an carryin' on like nothin' else on God's green earth. To big, too strong, and a little bit too jumpy. I mean, he covers distance better than Spider-Man, a guy who's main skill is jumping!

And Nick Nolte, picked freshly off the street where he was occupied shouting conspiracy theories at passing cars, arrived as the Hulk's father, resplendent in lustrous, shoulder length gray hair, and a bunch of angry monologues. At the very end, he turns into super hero too, except he's all evil and weird. At the end of the movie, there's a, supposedly climactic battle between the Nick Nolte character and the Hulk. The fight is somewhat impressive, but ultimately devolves into senseless and confusing imagery mixed with inappropriate, art house symbolism.

In fact, it seemed that the whole movie was instilled with a little bit too much of the whole, "Oh, everything should be deep and big, and meaningful." Sure, there's nothing wrong with putting some thought in an action movie, but it doesn't necessarily have to be about epic forces battling for the fate of the world.

The Hulk is overblown, grandiose, and too big for its own stretchy boxer shorts.


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (0) comments