HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

Not really. The Hulk wasn't painful all of the time. Only most.

Okay, I've been promising this much vaunted post for... over ONE week. While watching "Garfield: the Movie" on the plane home from Colorado, I decided I could disperse the drudgery by writing whatever thoughts occurred to me in my journal. So here, I present them to you.

The Thoughts I Experienced While Watching "Garfield: the Movie" on the Plane Home From Colorado, and Then Wrote in My Journal.

I woke up today more desolated than ever. It becomes ever more apparent to me that life is nothing but a pool of dark ruin. I want nothing but to sleep in the cool embrace of death.

Hey! You were NOT supposed to read that part! What the hell is wrong with you! Get out of my room! I HATE you! Go away.

And now, the real Thoughts I Experienced While Watching "Garfield: the Movie" on the Plane Home From Colorado, and Then Wrote in My Journal.


-Why doesn't the actor that plays Jon look at all like he does in the comic? His hair isn't even curly!
-The movie is actually worse than the comic.
-Why is Garfield animated and the other animals aren't? That doesn't make a lick of sense.
-Jennifer Love Hewitt is hot!
-Bill Murray is more convincing as a cat than Breckin Meyer is as a cat owner.
-(Just added): What kind of name is "Breckin"?
-Isn't Nermal the cat supposed to be cute or something?
-Why doesn't Garfield walk upright? He's supposed to walk upright.
-And what's the deal with Bill Murray? Does Billy boy have a big spinny wheel on his desk? And he spins it and it tells him what movie to star in? "Okay, Lost in Translation! What's next? Garfield?! But... but! Well... if the wheel says it, it must be done."
-It's funny when you hurt a cartoon animal, but not when you hurt a real dog.
-Oh wait, yes it is. Oh! You can push a dog, but you can't hit it.
-Why are their so many reggae songs in this movie?
-Jennifer Love Hewitt? She's hot!
-Hey fatty: shut up!
-HOT!
-Did you hear about Paris Hilton offering like, 5,000 dollars as a reward for finding her dog? Hah!
-They're gonna give the dog electrical shocks? Finally!
-Ha! It's hilarious when cats burp!
-Why do they keep saying "cul-de-sac"? It's not a funny word and it's not in the comic.
-Oh yeah, and why does his mouse friend sound like a Dominican drug dealer?
-Shut up man, you're not Hispanic. You're a mouse.
-Apparently, cats can fall 40 stories, break through the roof of a van, land in several boxes of lasagna, and be totally fine.
-Apparently, neither a dog nor a cat are capable of leaping over a two foot box.
-Ha ha! Animals are mauling that dude! Now they're shocking him. With electricity! Wait, that looks very painful.
-More reggae? WTF? Is... is Garfield Jamaican? Is that what I've been missing the whole time?
-Have you noticed that talking vermin always sound like minority stereotypes? That's appealing.

Well... that was disappointing. Not very amusing at all. Which shows you shouldn't try to write or do work on a plane. It was fun for me though. It kept me from paying all of my attention to the throbbing screen that sat in front of me. The writing acted like a siphon, allowing me to divert my mighty intellect from the television's hypnotic glow. I was at risk of complete absorption.

Okay, then. See you in a bit.

Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer