HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

Man, that Aeon Flux movie looks pretty cool! Too bad it's got that chick in it. What's her name? Aeon Flux? I think the ideas and some of the special effects look cool, especially little-fucking-balls that explode in formation, but Charlize Theron looks absolutely ridiculous! She's got that... hairand that... costume. Completely illogical. It flattens her silly little breasts! Who does she think she is? She's so special she can do high-tech espionage like that? With the... with the chest? In?


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (1) comments

My parents got a Shiatsu massage thing that you put on your chair. There's another American job outsourced to a Chinese robot!

Nicky (0) comments

This shit is terrible. Please forgive me.


Nicky (0) comments

Did you realize how deceptive it is to name your smallest drink "tall"? See, I thought it was just plain lying, but then you need to really think about it. Compared to a Dixie cup or a salamander, a "Tall" beverage really is huge. And then there's the question, how is "tall" defined? People can be "tall" and incredibly thin. Would a two-foot graduated cylinder full of Pumpkin Spice Latte qualify as "Tall"? It probably would. (0) comments

13 Going on 30 is ridiculous. But, actually! Kind of funny. It starts in 1987 with young Jennifer Garner on the day of her 13th birthday. She is friends with Ol' Chubby, a boy of similar age who will obviously grow up to be sensitive hunk Mark Ruffalo, best known as that guy in Eternal Sunshine who goes out with Kirsten Dunst, but loses her to a 65-year-old married guy. He is a great mumbler though, he makes me go nuts with longing and itchiness. Anyway, there's this group of mean girls and young Jenna wants to be one of them, so she's mean to Chubby, who has a borderline-scary crush on her. His birthday gift for her is a meticulously designed dream house, the concept for which he has apparently pieced together from recorded telephone conversations with her. So these mean girls come to her birthday party and my favorite part is when the guy puts on the Talking Heads hit Burning Down the House, and the head girl with the side ponytail makes him turn it off because he likes the one cool band that existed during the 80s.

So, they put her in the closet and say she's going to play 7 Minutes of Heaven with this guy Chad Chadley, and then they leave! And then they steal her party fixings. They steal actual bowls of like, guacamole.

Long story short, she makes a wish to become "thirty, flirty and thriving," and naturally she wakes up as adult Jennifer Garner (voted most likely to be an elf). Wackiness ensues, she finds out she works at her favorite magazine, Poise, and then she goes to this lame party and everyone's leaving, but then she gets the DJ to put on Thriller and about 40 people jump onto the dance floor and start doing the whole dance in perfect synchronicity, because apparently they've been practicing at home in front of a mirror for the past 20 years. It is possible, because that was a really popular music video. In fact, I guess it was probably the only video on MTV for a couple of years.

Anyway, it's kind of an enjoyable movie. Not sure why... I think it might be because the actors are good. I don't know, silly as it is, it's a pretty tightly woven fabrication. I'm not saying you should go out and see it, but if you find yourself alone in a room with it, you can scootch a little bit closer.

Learning an Irish accent is a lot of fun, but if you're dedicated enough, strangers will think you're crazy. I guess there's something "abnormal" about wandering down the street, not really looking where you're going and muttering, "Stop torturin' me wit tales about father O'Flanagan and tell me, was there any foightin' at the wake?"


Nicky

I'm just saying, she's got funny elf ears.

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (1) comments

How many of you have ever bought "distressed denim" at name brand prices? How much have you paid for pre-faded or pre-ripped jeans?

Would you pay the same price for pre-broken jeans? Because... it's the same thing! My suggestion is to buy the ordinary kind of jeans, the ones where they don't charge you for a service you can easily perform yourself via the rigorous process of wearing jeans. It's like actually buying two pairs of great jeans! You get some great non-fucked up jeans. And then a couple years later, you've got some fucked up jeans!

Also, you know those great cut-off jeans shorts you can get in stores? Perhaps you once bought a pair of pre-faded, pre-ripped cut-off jeans shorts at the Old Navy? Remember those jeans I was talking about, those jeans that are like two different pairs of jeans? More like three different pairs! Let's say you've got your old pair of faded, ripped jeans and you wish you had some shorts. Cut those pants off at the knees! You might be astounded by how much they look like pre-faded, pre-ripped cut-off jeans shorts. As long as you don't like bullshit, I think you might like it.

Anyway, it's cool if you want to try this out, but don't tell too many people about this because if this shit gets out, it could ruin the pants industry and we'd be back where we started, sewing caribou onto our legs.


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (5) comments

You know what time it is! It's the time of year where I forget how to blog, then I write you all a note explaining that I will BE BACK EVENTUALLY DO NOT WORRY.

I will tell you that my school is putting on a production of the musical Hair. And I tell you something; not everyone is gay. Just one or two of the cast members, our musical director, and our dance choreographer. But not our director. He's so straight that he's not only married, he also harasses 15-year-old girls. So no one's worried about that guy. But it's all in good fun.

Which brings me to the Lolita Quandry. Many of you know that the book Lolita is about a man who falls in love with a 12-year-old girl. The book was famous for its provocative tone, beautiful writing, and sexy, sexy premise.

I think Lolita is a great name, and if I had a daughter, I would want her to be named Lolita. And there, of course, is the quandry. Who in their right mind, would name their daughter after a fictional girl who had a torrid affair with a 40-year-old man? I mean, the pedophiles would just take that as an open invitation.

"Please come have sex with my daughter."

Have you met anyone named Lolita? I bet there are thousands of people out there, just itching to name their daughters Lolita. But they can't. Because a man named Vladimir Nabokov wrote a little book and ruined this great name for everyone! Lame, Mr. Nabokov, very lame.

But you know, the paradox is that half the appeal of the name is its sordid history! When you get down to it, actually, it would probably be better if someone else's daughter were named Lolita. Most fathers don't want their daughters to be sexy before they're even born.

Man, that's a good book. You should read that book. It's fascinating and you feel guilty for reading it.


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (0) comments