HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

13 Going on 30 is ridiculous. But, actually! Kind of funny. It starts in 1987 with young Jennifer Garner on the day of her 13th birthday. She is friends with Ol' Chubby, a boy of similar age who will obviously grow up to be sensitive hunk Mark Ruffalo, best known as that guy in Eternal Sunshine who goes out with Kirsten Dunst, but loses her to a 65-year-old married guy. He is a great mumbler though, he makes me go nuts with longing and itchiness. Anyway, there's this group of mean girls and young Jenna wants to be one of them, so she's mean to Chubby, who has a borderline-scary crush on her. His birthday gift for her is a meticulously designed dream house, the concept for which he has apparently pieced together from recorded telephone conversations with her. So these mean girls come to her birthday party and my favorite part is when the guy puts on the Talking Heads hit Burning Down the House, and the head girl with the side ponytail makes him turn it off because he likes the one cool band that existed during the 80s.

So, they put her in the closet and say she's going to play 7 Minutes of Heaven with this guy Chad Chadley, and then they leave! And then they steal her party fixings. They steal actual bowls of like, guacamole.

Long story short, she makes a wish to become "thirty, flirty and thriving," and naturally she wakes up as adult Jennifer Garner (voted most likely to be an elf). Wackiness ensues, she finds out she works at her favorite magazine, Poise, and then she goes to this lame party and everyone's leaving, but then she gets the DJ to put on Thriller and about 40 people jump onto the dance floor and start doing the whole dance in perfect synchronicity, because apparently they've been practicing at home in front of a mirror for the past 20 years. It is possible, because that was a really popular music video. In fact, I guess it was probably the only video on MTV for a couple of years.

Anyway, it's kind of an enjoyable movie. Not sure why... I think it might be because the actors are good. I don't know, silly as it is, it's a pretty tightly woven fabrication. I'm not saying you should go out and see it, but if you find yourself alone in a room with it, you can scootch a little bit closer.

Learning an Irish accent is a lot of fun, but if you're dedicated enough, strangers will think you're crazy. I guess there's something "abnormal" about wandering down the street, not really looking where you're going and muttering, "Stop torturin' me wit tales about father O'Flanagan and tell me, was there any foightin' at the wake?"


Nicky

I'm just saying, she's got funny elf ears.

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AIM: Jake Aimer