HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

David Blaine will try to hold his breath for a record-breaking 9:00 minutes live on FOX!

The name of this special? "David Blaine: Drowned Alive."

He's drowned alive! Not dead, like most people are.

I think the real problem with this guy and his publicity stunts is, at this point, no one really cares if he lives or dies. He may be the world's most disposable celebrity.


Nicky (0) comments

Saw an ad for America's Most Wanted, they're going undercover to catch online predators. There's an exciting episode.

lolita12: wats your name lol?
Predaz0r666: i want to sex you up.
lolita12: wow im from cali

How does this work? Is that the point where the SWAT team knocks down the door? How far are they going to go to dramatize this? Are they going to show the sexual predator, hunched over his computer, staring at the screen with a maniac glint in his eye? Is he in his underwear? Are there pictures of that little girl from Seventh Heaven?

I sort of feel like AMW has lost its way. I suggest that they go back to whatever it is they used to do. (0) comments

Just so you know, the heat is off. I anxiously watched the police investigation via my vast satellite network while staying on my radar-invisible Mexican island off the coast of Cancun. When the search died down, I left my island in a stealth submarine and made an amphibious landing in Playa Del Carmen. After hiking for days and living on tortillas made from my own shoes, I came to the border. I approached an American border guard and convinced him that a ruthless Mexican master of disguise had stolen my identity in order to take my job restocking the frozen meat section at Wal-Mart. The sympathetic guard let me back in without even a background check, and vowed to find the man who had stolen my identity. I told him to look for a Mexican in a Wal-Mart uniform.

I went on, hitching a ride from a trucker delivering 40 tons of generic cocoa powder to an obscure lodge in Alberta, Canada. From there, I skied cross country to Niagra Falls. I nailed myself in a wooden barrel and rolled myself off the falls, landing safely on the New York side. I smashed my way out of the barrel and, recovering my climbing equipment from a subaqueous hidden cave, proceeded to scale the surface of the American side of the falls. When I reached the top, I met with Krueger, my pet cougar, who tossed me the thigh of a turkey he had caught and roasted over a little propane stove, and then gave me a ride back to New York City.

At Times Square, we ducked into a service booth, unseen. I carefully unscrewed the receiver on the phone, and pressed the hidden button, causing the wall to open and a glass tube to emerge. Krueger jumped into the tube, which would quickly and safely convey him back to the Amazon until I would need him again.

Then I took the train home.


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (0) comments

Hey guys, I did a stupid thing, I stole the world's biggest ball of twine.
I gotta go to Mexico for a while, but this should all blow over in a week or so.
You'd be surprised how short the statute on limitations for gigantic larceny is.


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (0) comments

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to manage your own farm? Have you ever wondered if you have what it takes to higher farm hands; buy, sow, and harvest crops; and breed and slaughter livestock? Now you CAN, with John Deere: American Farmer!

I was just at Circuit City, looking to see if they had perhaps accidentally received a copy of Tomb Raider: Legend two days early, when I saw this little doozie of a game. John Deere: American Farmer is THE premier grain-growing, hog-rendering, tractor-pulling farm simulation. You can even drive a tractor! It looks like after years of trying, the people at Bold Games have managed to hit the market sweet spot where heavy agricultural equipment and strategic gaming align. JD: AF brings all the thrill and excitement of farm life to your very fingertips! Authentic tractor driving is just a click away!

I hear you asking, How will these guys ever beat the magic of SimFarm? Well, I can't be 100% they will, but the descriptions have got me pretty darn hopeful. The box says that "Plagues, weather, market trends, employee skill level and much more will play a role as you make decisions that will determine the ultimate success of your farm." You can even milk a cow!


And at just $19.99, it costs no more than such bargain basement titles as Valve's Day of Defeat: Source!

Well, I was just amazed and excited beyond all belief when I saw this game, but I was concerned that other people might not see it, hidden as it was on a low shelf. So I picked up that game and I jammed it right on that rack in front of some game called Older Scrolls IV! There were a lot of copies of that Scroll thing, so obviously that wasn't selling, I figured why not help out the nice guys at Circuit City by putting the good merchandise up front?


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer

PS. I guess those things in the pictures aren't really tractors, but I'm sure that there ARE tractors in the game! There have got to be! (3) comments

I know what you're thinking: "This guy is so behind the times!" Yeah, I know you all fell in and out of love with her back in the 90's, but love is timeless.

After seven games, a whopping five of which were terrible, Lara is back in Tomb Raider: Legend, a game that promises to return her to her former glory. And yes, there are boobs. Tomb Raider: Legend promises to return Lara Croft's boobs to their former glory. For the first time in the series, the game features an all new integrated physics system, which allows the player to solve puzzles based on real-life interactions with objects. The physics system even applies to Ms. Croft's ample bosoms, which carry their own mass and physical properties. A specially trained division of programmers, collectively known as the cantaloupologists, worked nights and weekends to perfect the code necessary to deliver the high poly count and jigglometrics that today's gamers have come to expect of next-generation bazongas. The breasts of Lara Croft even have rudimentary AI that allows them to jiggle warningly in response to danger. Included in the list of threats are exposure to water, fabric, and jiggling.

For this latest installment, game designer Crystal Dynamics has opted to create a more realistic Lara than in previous games. That means her face finally has some detail, her waist is slightly less wasplike, and the size of her afore-mentioned bosoms has been reduced from "tyrannical" to merely "inhumane". I think this is a step in the right direction. I also think Crystal Dynamics should be commended for their commitment to realism. For instance, when Lara emerges from water, her clothes and body are wet and gleaming and water droplets fly from her glistening body as she runs and leaps into the air, gracefully catching hold of a wooden pole with a delicate grunt. It is details like this that are absolutely Vital in maintaining the gamer's suspension of disbelief, and it is admirable bits like this that separate a distinguished developer from a forgettable one.

Anyway, where was I. Oh yes, I'm in love with Lara Croft. Not in the I-love-this-woman-I'm-gonna-jump-on-the-couch kind of way, though; I consider our love to be intimate, private and unspoken.

Oh no, I'm not the first, and I certainly won't be the last to fall for this British firecracker. But, the way she lets me move her... there is no closer bond than this.
Some day I will dig through her layers of icy composure, raid the tomb of her heart, excavate her love, and encase it in glass.

So, the demo is a lot of fun. If you've got a PC with enough power to handle her, I mean, it, I mean the demo, try her out. It. The demo.


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (0) comments

Some Swedish guy is staying at our house, with our Greek tenant. She's got an Asian boyfriend who comes over here all the time. It's like the freakin' League of Nations around here.

I forgot the Swedish guys's name. I think it's Sven. Maybe it's not. I guess it isn't. He didn't seem very dumb. Isn't he supposed to be dumb or something? Stupid? He didn't seem very stupid.

I was disappointed.


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer (3) comments