HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

Just so you know, the heat is off. I anxiously watched the police investigation via my vast satellite network while staying on my radar-invisible Mexican island off the coast of Cancun. When the search died down, I left my island in a stealth submarine and made an amphibious landing in Playa Del Carmen. After hiking for days and living on tortillas made from my own shoes, I came to the border. I approached an American border guard and convinced him that a ruthless Mexican master of disguise had stolen my identity in order to take my job restocking the frozen meat section at Wal-Mart. The sympathetic guard let me back in without even a background check, and vowed to find the man who had stolen my identity. I told him to look for a Mexican in a Wal-Mart uniform.

I went on, hitching a ride from a trucker delivering 40 tons of generic cocoa powder to an obscure lodge in Alberta, Canada. From there, I skied cross country to Niagra Falls. I nailed myself in a wooden barrel and rolled myself off the falls, landing safely on the New York side. I smashed my way out of the barrel and, recovering my climbing equipment from a subaqueous hidden cave, proceeded to scale the surface of the American side of the falls. When I reached the top, I met with Krueger, my pet cougar, who tossed me the thigh of a turkey he had caught and roasted over a little propane stove, and then gave me a ride back to New York City.

At Times Square, we ducked into a service booth, unseen. I carefully unscrewed the receiver on the phone, and pressed the hidden button, causing the wall to open and a glass tube to emerge. Krueger jumped into the tube, which would quickly and safely convey him back to the Amazon until I would need him again.

Then I took the train home.


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer