HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

God... I haven't posted since forever. Literally. There is some time in the distant past known as forever, and I haven't written since that time. I don't really have anything to say today though, I'm just waiting for this kid to return my call so I can complete this science thing and avoid failing the class. What, Nicky fail a class? Well, maybe I won't fail if I don't turn this thing in, but I don't want to risk that. And it's really not my fault that I haven't done it until now. The science system up here is really quirky and you have to do a certain number of "labs" every semester or you failt the class or something. We usually do one a week. So, the two days I miss school, I miss two labs, and one of them counts as two labs in itself. So I missed two days of school all year and suddenly I'm short three labs. Anyway... it looks like it's been arranged so I can make this up and, even if I don't do well on it, I won't be at any risk of failing. Otherwise than that, I've probably got about a 92 in the class. I had an 88 in science on my last report card, but that's because my teacher retroactively gave me a 31 on a test I actually got an 89 on. But I got her to fix that.

What else... what's in the news.... You all heard this scheme to build a huge stadium for the New Jersey Nets or whatever? Shit. They also have plans to build something like, 15 to 19 high rise buildings in the area for housing and office space and stuff. It's really crazy. I could talk about it, but I don't really know enough. Why don't you read this Daily News article, featuring a quote from my mom ("Lucy")?

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/col/story/156383p-137398c.html

I've been thinking a lot about cartoons (the type with panels, word balloons, and humor) lately, and I've noticed a few things. Number one, Penny Arcade still kicks ass. In honor of PA, I continue to link to them. However, another, less known comic is also definitely worth a look. It's an excellent way to spend those lazy hours on a cold winter's day, warmed only by the heat of your poorly cooled hard drive, your face illuminated by the pale glow of the screen. Anyway the web site is Machall.com. Don't be alarmed; it's not about Mac users (damn!), it's about college people. They go to college. It's quite funny and has really nice art. As always, it helps if you read them all in order, to get a better understanding of the characters and jokes, but I understand if you're all just really lazy and hate life.

As per our history course, I've been learning about the middle ages and, for a project, I had to research some history stuff. One thing I learned from my textbook, is that medieval knights would actually launch sick COWS from catapults, trebuchets, etc., at their enemy. For me, this was nothing short of a revelation. All those years I thought Monty Python was just being silly.

So, for now I feel I have fullfilled my obligation to modify a certain amount of electric signals in a computer in Richmond someplace which is currently storing this website, and I must part. Good day.

I thank thee, sire, for yonder mail.
MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com. (0) comments

Just by watching the Dell commercials you can tell who Dell is targeting: Morons. There are two commercials which can tell you this. The first one starts with some scene with a guy who gets angry because he can't fix a problem with his computer and kidnaps this computer store employee. Then you hear the announcer say "forget the mega-this, giga-that. Just tell Dell what you want to with your PC." That can tell you that they're targeting non-computer literate people. So that narrows it down a little bit.

And the second thing is that for example, when they say that something is $100 dollars off they DO THE MATH FOR YOU. Literally they show in big font on the screen: $799- $100= $699. That just tells you that it's for people who can't do simple math. There, I just handed Dell the biggest ass whooping ever. And for everyone who buys Dell computers and isn't a moron, you probably didn't see those commercials or something. You're probably just you know, lucky smart people that bought Dell stuff. (0) comments

Okay, I'm writing this because I feel compelled to post since I haven't for quite some time. But those usually turn out being okay anyway.

It all started with a website called MoveOn.org. They are a progressive website that provides information about stuff going on all over the world, and in the past couple of months they held the "Bush In 30 Seconds" contest. This is a contest where they had viewers send in TV ads they made (with digital cameras) saying stuff about Bush that was generally intended to make people want to vote for him less. Once submitted, the ads were viewable by all, so they could vote on their favorites. Over 1000 such ads were submitted and the ads were rated over 3 million times, which is you know, a lot. Of course, most of the ads were god-fucking-awful because as I've learned, liberals can be stupid idiots just like conservatives, but they tend to have fewer guns. So MoveOn.org was planning to run the most popular ad during the election week and as I later found out, during the Superbowl. How do they determine the most popular ad, you might ask: first they have people vote, then the top 15 or whatever are mulled over by some celebrity judges or something, and the best ads from different categories win prescious, prescious recognition for the creator.

What, you must be asking by now, has this to do with Nicholas? Well, as most people know, I am a closet liberal. But only assuming the closet encompasses the entire world. Too complicated for you? Sorry. My point was that everyone who knows me, except for that new Mars rover that just landed a while ago knows, I am a liberal. See, because the Mars rover is on the other side of the closet... never mind. Yeesh.

Now my point is... hmm? Oh yes, so the MoveOn people decided to host this sort of awards ceremony for the best ads. And my mom got tickets, two of 'em. So I decided to go with her. So, you know, at first I thought, this is cool, I'm gonna see some celebrities do stuff and see some ads, it should be Okay.

It was actually pretty boring. Hah, you didn't see that coming! If you did, shut up. I thought Jack Black was going to be there, but he wasn't, he was just a judge on the panel or whatever. But Margaret Cho, comedian extraordinaire, was there, and she was really good. She appeared about 20 minutes into the show did probably a 20-30 minute act, and left. It all went downhill from there.

I mean, sure there were lots of other cool people there: Janeane Garofalo, Michael Moore, Al Franken, Chuck D (of Public Enemy fame), and probably some other people that I don't recognize by name. But despite all these cool people, it was a pretty boring three to four hours.

Also, the ads that won, unbelievable. Despite the fact that there were clearly far better nominies to choose from, the worst ads were consistently chosen. Thank god the one ad they chose to actually run on TV is pretty good, but it's not really controversial enough to spark anyone's opinion. It shows these kids all doing factory-type work and hauling garbage and stuff and then it says, "Who's going to inherit George Bush's trillion dollar deficit?" I mean sure, that not bad, but what about Iraq, huh? Someone want to mention that? I guess maybe they chose this one for that very purpose, because it wasn't too controversial, but seriously, if you're going to independently raise hundreds of thousands of or millions of dollars to air an anti-Bush commercial on the air, shouldn't it be really shocking? Please?

Okay, well, this post wasn't funny, but I couldn't think of anything funny to say, really. As always you can send me email (actually, you never do that. Pricks.) Or you can send me email for Lukas and I'll forward it.

-Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com. (0) comments

Once upon a time there was a prince, who lived in a large and beautiful castle, on the top of a hill, overlooking a crystal lake. The young prince got everything. Gems and stones beyond any concievable value, the finest horses to ride, and the finest chlothes to wear. But, he didn't want these things. The only thing he wanted, his parents couldn't give him. He wanted true love. And so no matter how much he pleaded with god, and wished on stars, he couldn't find true love. And so he took out his anger and passion on his footservent, who recieved the beatings silently. Eventually, the little foot servent couldn't see the beauty of the world around him anymore, and with it vanished the beauty of what really exists. And, the prince stopped beating the foot servent, and the prince's parents finally saw too late, and the little foot servent died, without seeing the green of the grass, or the crystal of the lake. Just a dead prince, and his eyes finally shut, as he drooped into the warm embrace of the fires of hell.

Hmm, yeah. That was a little weird, I guess. I'm not quite sure where that came from. Something along the lines of: "Those poor abused children..."

MY E-MAIL! Well, It's Nicky's, actually. But I'm sure he'll be nice and send responses to me. Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com. (0) comments

Hello to all of Nicky's six fans! I'm Lukas, and I'm here to make another introduction, pretty much just to clarify some things, and post my first entry.

1) My name is Lukas Fauset. (In the background, im hearing the people chanting at my funeral: 'His name is Lukas Fauset, his name is Lukas Fauset...' over and over. Fight Club? Anyone?)

2) I don't know Mikey, but it seems Nicky was blasting him pretty hard. I don't know whether he deserves it or not.

3) Nicky has never come close to pissing me off, no matter how hard he tries. I don't get pissed easily. One day, I'll probably snap or something, because of that. UNTIL then, I'm your friendly neighborhood Lukas!

4) I think Nicky and I agree on most things, save Starcraft. (Hence half of the title, Blizzards and Wizards, because, as you probably all know, Starcraft was made by Blizzard. Well, I think so, at least. I hope I'm right. Otherwise, I just made an ass of myself on my first post.

I guess that brought me to the rest of my post. The wizard thing. I know Nicky already
talked about The Lord of The Rings, but this has sort have been bothering me for a while, so I might as well talk.

GANDALF (in my opinion) IS FULL OF OELEPHANT SHIT!!! My belief dates back to the beginnings of a particular fellowship in the mines of Moria, on a particular bridge, while particular parts of this particular bridge happen to be crumbling away into a particular abyss of hell, demons, dark forces, yadda yadda, while a particular Balrog happens to be chasing them.
At this point in time, Gandalf gets tough, and in order to save his furry little Hobbit friends, he brings out his wonderful staff. I was struggling through the book, and I had just finished this part of it, and was expecting a kick ass rendition of a wonderful fight.
Well, here's what happened. Gandalf was saying his magic words and stuff, and I was huddled in my sweet, acting something a long the lines of that guy who's always sweating in Tommorrow's Nobody, except without being gay (I have no problem with Homosexuals by the way). And the light flashes. This sort of pissed me off. A light. Whoop dee doo.
Come to think of it, that's all he's really done in all the books and movies is with lights. Fireworks, beacons, (actually, he gets someone else to light the beacons) and a ton of white lights, that, um, scare, things... Yeah... SO! Back to the treacherous passageways of Moria.
The Balrog is doing his firewhip thing, and supposedly doing something to help them, and I think the Balrog just sorta didn't realize their was a missing part to the bridge in front of him, and just walks forward and falls. So, now Gandalf thinks he's so cool, and starts to do his little victory dance, when the whip comes and grabs him. "Run you fools!" Gandalf says to the Hobbits. "I've got a Balrog ripping my trousers, and, in my age, that's not something you want to see. Yes, even you and Sam, Frodo. Don't peak." The he falls... Or does he? Yes. He does...
According to Gandalf's story, he falls through the dark to where to light will ever shine, twirling in an embrace of deadly fire. Into the quiet waters of the deep pits of the world, where the Balrog's endless fire ceased to be quenched, even in the deep cold. And then... Through the bottom of the lake we fell.... WTF! Through the bottom of the lake? Gandalf? Gandalf the Wise? You can't fall through the bottom of a lake my bearded friend and land on a mountain. You moron.
So, then Gandalf, using his ultra super powers! Made a a sword... Of LIGHT! Yay! The Balrog was blinded and died. The end.
I don't think so.

I think Gandalf is a crummy liar!

I think Gandalf fell off the ledge, and the Balrog fell, hit his head on some boulder, and died. Now, Gandalf, being the weak old man he is, couldn't hold on anyway, and fell five feet onto a little ledge. Everyone left, and he was just stranded there. SO! He made the climb down to the bottom of the abyss, more like a small crevice of about 60 feet, kicked the Balrog a couple of times, and then spent a long time wondering the caves, looking for a way out. He finally found one, left, bought some new clothes at the Gap, found a nice wooden stick, put a rock in it, washed his beard, called himself Gandalf the White, and then made up some bullshit story about the gods reviving him to fight once again.

There.

I've said it.

You now have your first glimpse into my twisted and distorted world.

If you made it this far, that is.


MY E-MAIL! Well, Ok, it's Nicky's... BUT! I'm sure he'll be nice and forward responses to me. Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com. (0) comments

Hey everyone:

I've been maintaining this blog for, oh say, several months now, and my loyal fans (all six of you), have rewarded me by somehow bestowing upon me, over 1000 hits. Nice job guys, but it still isn't ENOUGH. I won't be happy until I've conquered the internet and beaten it into submission. So, tell all your friends about me.

So, remember Mikey? He used to write stuff for the site. It wasn't always funny, or very interesting, but he did take up bandwith. He was a "partner". I have now decided to add an additional partner. Guys, say hello to Lukas Faucet:

"Hi, I'm Lukas."

Actually, that was me, impersonating him. Anyway, he's a good friend of mine from Laguardia, my school. I've seen his writing, and it's pretty good, plus he asked me for this, and I don't have so many friends that I can afford to piss him off. Not that pissing off my friends has ever stopped them in the past, but, you know. So, I look forward to him showing up once in a while, and saying stuff.

Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com. (0) comments

Hey guys, have you seen this shit: http://www.nypost.com/seven/12292003/business/14640.htm
Read along with me!

[This post is pasted together from an AIM conversation I had with Mikey, so the writing style will seem a little strange and fragmented. I kind of like it that way.]


It's a New York Post article about the video game "Grand Theft Auto: Vice City". It's a complete bashing of the game, following the old "it teaches kids to kill" line. You can screw hookers and beat them to death, oh, oh my.
Okay, maybe that wasn't a good example. But it's still a terrible article. The guy acts like this is the first violent game on the market, and how you're a mobster, and how awful that is. What about the game "Mafia", huh? You didn't mention that.
And besides, there's very little evidence that games cause violence. The other thing is, lots of people know about this game, have played it, and don't care if it's violent, so the article will piss them off, or they haven't played it and the article piques their curiosity. Everyone else will get offended. Or won't care.
I forgot what my point was.
But I know I've played Vice City, it didn't make me more violent. Unless I'm around hookers. Ha ha... sorry.
The guy that wrote the article is all like, "You're a cocaine dealer. And then you get ripped off. And you have to get your drugs back by committing as many homicidal acts as you can."
Okay, sure.
But that hasn't made me homicidal, or want to deal cocaine.
And what's to say it's so much worse than a violent movie, like... you know... anything. Like Kill Bill, or whatever.
Of course, those are under attack too.
By different people.
The author also says that two teenagers, 14 and 16, decided to drive around and gun people down, just like in Vice City.
Hello, those kids are 14 and 16 years old! Don't you think they're old enough to know the difference between life and video games? If someone were to say to you, "Shooting people from a moving car is awesome, and really fun," would you then say, "That guy told me it was awesome, and it SOUNDS fun. I'ma go do it!"
I think you have to have head problems to do that sort of thing.
Not just video games.

Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com. (0) comments