HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

So there I am, working the 6-9 shift at Figeroux and Associates, plugging away for the benefit of prospective Congressman Chris Owens. And it's 8:00 PM: Break O'Clock.

I stop in at the CVS, which stands for CV Store, I believe, and look for a treat. After two hours in an air-conditioned office room, I want some baked goods like Mama made them--had Mama ever been the least bit interested in baking. Suddenly, Grandma stares up at me from a package of cookies. Those cookies are soft, soft like Grandma made them. Soft like my heart.

I pick them up and take them to the counter, savoring the softness, in my mind. I respond apologetically that No, I do not have a club card, I will be paying the full 50 cents.

As I leave the store and bite into the first cookie, trying to ignore the utter, utter artificiality of it all, a message on the plastic package catches my eye. "Guaranteed Fresh!" and then in smaller letters, "until the date marked on this package."

Did Grandma's Cookies just take credit for complying with food safety regulations? Of course they're guaranteed fresh until the expiration date. That is the definition of an expiration date! It gurantees that until one date, food will be fresh, and after that date, food will not be fresh. That's how it works! Make no mistake about it, that date on the cookies is there so that if you eat them too late, you can't sue Grandma!

Cover your ass, Grandma, just cover your ass.


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer