HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

AAARRR! God, it's so sunny out. You'd think that for a guy like me at least they could get some rain on my funeral. Jesus Christ it was uncomfortable in there! You ever been buried six feet underground in a wooden box? It's not fun. What's that? It sounds like your last marriage? Ha ha ha ha ha ha, you've still got it! But seriously, your kid's looking kinda pale there, you should get that checked out.

You know, I didn't think I could survive in there for four days, but after the first couple of minutes it suddenly got much easier. Huh? Pulse? Oh, that's probably normal. I'm sure it'll come back. I just need to get warm. Why is it so god damn cold? Sunny day like this and I'm freezing my ass off.

Damn, this is a nice suit. Whose suit is this? This isn't my suit. I don't have any nice suits. I'm keeping it. Is there any... damn. I was hoping maybe someone ve left a twenty in the breast pocket. But nope, all I'm getting is dirt.


ANYhow, I've actually spent the past six weeks getting my learn on at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, a town famous for being the place where George Romero shot Night of the Living Dead. True fact: George Romero hired all nonprofessional actors for his ultra-low budget movie. For his zombie scenes, he actually just filmed Pittsburghers going about their daily business. True story. Pittsburgh sucks. And no matter how many Pittsburghers you kill, there's always more! And in the end, you just end up getting shot by the sheriff. Just because you're black. Oh come on, none of you have actually seen the movie? It's a classic!

I'm back in Brooklyn now, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. I've been working at a phone bank from 6-9 for the past three days. What's that you say? You're not quite sure what a phone bank is? Well, if you think a phone bank is where you go to deposit your telephones, then you're dead wrong! It's a place where friendly people, like me, call unfriendly people, like everyone else, and tell them things. For instance, I tell people that Chris Owens would make a nice congressman. You, or someone like you, might instead be asked to tell people that a Kenmore washer/dryer would make a nice, clean load of laundry. However, you would be wrong, because a washer/dryer can't make clothing, only wash and dry it. My point is, I'm doing okay here, and I'm maybe saving up to buy some more hardware for my computer so that I can buy new video games that simulate life so well you'd almost believe you have one.


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer

P.S. If you are Lukas Fauset, congratulations! You are probably the first one to read this!