HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

Oh, the pain it brings me to be apart from you. That you would accept my pleas for forgiveness.

I went to an audition last Sunday. It was a special kind of audition, the kind where you think you're going to maybe get to be in a Pepsi commercial or get an agent, but really you're going to win the opportunity to attend a workshop for $2000. Now, no one really explained that to us when they called me up on the telephone, so I thought it would be a great, in fact, fantastic idea to try out.

I arrived at the office of John Robert Powers, famous Agency to the Stars, around 1:00 and found myself in a dystopian future, replete with colorful plastic chairs, and frosted glass doors that can only be opened by the light touch of a perfumed, manicured hand on a gleaming key pad.

We entered a room, my mother and I, full of little stars and starlets. Four-year-olds restrained by their mothers, awash in a pastel wasteland.

A man entered, I don't remember his name, but in his youth he was gifted, with the distinction of being Sketchers' first male model. He spoke from his suit with stylishly pink button-down shirt, telling us of opportunities and success, how we could all be famous, with a little help from my friends.

I had three choices, what commercial did I want to read? There was Gap jeans: The Great Thing About Jeans Is That They Never Go Out Of Style!, Pepsi: What Makes You Cool Is Your Attitude... Your Inner Self, Hershey's Chocolate: Have You Gone Without Rich And Creamy Milk Chocolate? I went with the Pepsi.

A strange thing happens to the aspiring actor when he prepares for an audition. The material he has, no matter how dull, trite or insipid, must be filled with emotion, style, and panache. And Poise. And Charm. And Vivacity. I found myself falling into cliché, testing one line reading after the next.

What makes you cool is your attitude... your inner self. It's not the way your hair is cut. It's not the clothes you wear. It's not what you drink... or is it? Pepsi, the drink of a new generation.

Gestures and inflections, infinite combinations of radical 'tude. Am I in-your-face enough?

Your inner self. What makes you cool is your attitude. Look at me! See the attitude?
It's not what you drink... or is it? Is it? Is it? Is it what fucking you drink?

#23? That's me. Be nice! But not too nice. Not weak! And read the line like you know the line, like you is it, the line. And attitude, give them attitude but not too much attitude. It has to be real. And. Show them what they're expecting, but add something new. But not too new. Don't scare no body. Any body.

Hello my name is Nicky and I am 16-years-old. Would you like to buy me?

Afterwards, I complained to my mother. Not enough attitude.

I am accepted, I am privileged with the honor of taking their workshop.
I decide against it.


Nicky

P.S. I sound like a crazy cut-rate beatnik here, but that's cool. The experience perhaps damaged my mind and brain.

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer