HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

Anyone see ads for this movie The Pacifier? Yeah, good shit. Vin Diesel plays some sort of top-trained secret government mercenary soldier-type professional... something. But the hilarious thing is, he has to protect a bunch of KIDS! Oh MAN! I don't know about you guys, but it's kind of the highlight of my year. If there's anything better than action stars doing formulaic action movies, it's action stars doing formulaic comedies, therefore breaking the mold.

Hey guess what? Kidding. I was totally kidding. I do that sometimes.
All right, I'm going to tone down the sarcasm for a moment here.

It's always so painful to see an actor with such limited talent, who has made a living by starring in tepid and uninspired movies, and to realize just how much deeper he can sink.

Have you noticed how actors always end up starring in movies opposite a bunch of kids at the very end of their career arc? Now, I don't have any definite evidence here, but think of Eddie Murphy. Right? Remember Eddie Murphy, star of such hits as Coming to America, 48 Hours, and The Adventures of Pluto Nash (oh wait, not that one)? Now look at his most recent movies: Daddy Day Care, Haunted mansion, Shrek 2. That's right, Shrek 2. Come on, guys; it wasn't very good.

Now, what's on Mr. Murphy's list of upcoming films, hm? Daddy Day Camp and Shrek 3.

Do you UNDERSTAND? Exactly WHERE do you have to BE in your CAREER to make a SEQUEL to DADDY DAY CARE? This is not the world of a loving god.

And now Vin Diesel comes out with The Pacifier. The interesting thing is how quickly he went from his audacious beginning in Saving Private Ryan or the Thin Red Line or I don't really care, passed through the height of his popularity, with The Fast and the Furious and XXX (the sequel of which is coming out soon and nobody cares,) to this dizzying new low.

Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm radically incorrect. Maybe this is just a little cheap movie to pay the bills until he comes out with his poignant and moving drama next Fall. I can't wait to see Uwe Boll presents: A Vin Diesel Film: The Blooming of Howard Spangler.

I'm sorry. I totally fucked up with the sarcasm thing. I was trying to not do it, but it's just... it's just me. I can't change who I am.


I also have to mention that I've been watching Boston Legal since it's premier earlier this year. All I can say is that it's one of my favorite shows in a long time. If they replaced the characters with other characters, moved it to outer space, and changed its name to "Firefly," I could honestly say that it's as good as Firefly, which was woefully cancelled after five magical episodes. Still, it's damn good. James Spader is a god. It's just so refreshing to see a protagonist who is smug and complacent, and regularly does bad things to good people. And William Shatner is... he's just... he's William Shatner. Watch it Sundays at 9:00, only on ABC.


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer