HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

Something has begun. After something like 15 years, depending on where you start counting, I have gone without a cell phone. It was tough, as I watched every generation of my friends get cell phones. I knew these phones in their infancy, watched them grow old and die, only to be replaced by thinner, sleeker phones. And still I had nothing.

I lived in a world of perpetual ignorance, never knowing where that movie theater was without having written it down or asked someone before I left the house! For years, I had to survive being told that I could hang out with my friends if I could only call them after I got off the train. Many are the times I was given permission to run with this or that elite crew, but then denied when they discovered the startling absence around my belt area.

But I survived, and in time, I grew accustomed.

Then one day—this would be two days ago—I discovered some mysterious boxes. These boxes four, each held a cell phone, one phone for each member of my family. When these phones are activated, they glow with an unearthly radiance and fire their invisible rays into the sky. O, but what god could have devised such a wonder?


Honestly, though? It's pretty cool. Not a lot of features, not a lot of messy stuff. Just some solid metal and plastic, with a hint of acid (for batteries/emulsifier.) I guess you could say the secret ingredient is "electricity."

Thing is, I'm frightened of my phone. It dwells in a universe in which everything is for sale but it is never necessary to tell a man exactly when he has paid. Oh yes, the charges will appear on his monthly phone bill, but will his phone tell him? Will his phone tell him when he has paid to send a simple text message? Will his phone tell him when they have deducted minutes from his account just for calling his voice mail? Will a PHONE tell him what price he has paid to show pictures of his newborn daughter to its new grandparents? No.

We are given our phones and told to have a ball. They throw their slogans at us, asking us if we can "hear them now" or if we are "in." But to me, every second with this phone is a second that I may have accidentally bought something I didn't even want.

Tell me this, Verizon, how many peak minutes does it take to save your soul?


Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer