HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

So, I'm watching Murder by Numbers, some murder movie my mom took out from the library. It features Sandra Bullock, the steely-eyed homicide detective who can never let anyone get close to her. Even her male partner finds her abrasive style difficult to handle. But very soon, a budding romance comes along and erases all that trouble.

Not between Bullock and her partner, though. No, the two real protagonists of this story are Richie and Justin, the two murderers who are central to the plot. Richie is a wealthy, arrogant, upper-class prick who has an inexplicably low-brow, mumbly speech pattern and dresses like he just stepped off the front cover of Rolling Stone's 2004 "Best of Eurotrash" issue. Justin is a brilliant, pasty-faced, lanky-haired, big-lipped, Crispin Glover-meets-Leonardo Dicaprio sissy bitch who's got no friends, no social skills, no nothing. So naturally the two fall for each other like a pair of magnetic dominoes. Of course the director Barbet Schroeder throws in some cute Hollywood cheese to appease the teenage girls. He's got the two running in fields together, eating spaghetti and like, they eat the same piece and their faces meet, but then they all look away because it's awkward. It's sweet, really. But then it gets darker: they decide to commit a murder and get away with it. You know, because that's what those bored suburban high schoolers start doing when they don't have good, wholesome extracurricular activities. See, this is why kids need to be taking the powerful narcotics! You do not want their brains to be operating on this kind of level. Needless to say, the two pull it off, but when Bullock questions Richie, she decides that she DOES NOT LIKE HIM and THAT HE IS GUILTY. She tells this to her partner, and then later they have sex. Then she makes him leave. This is an important plot point, because later on in the story, it never happens again.

But I really do think that the relationship between Richie and Justin is a beautiful thing, and it's a big step forward for Hollywood cinema. I mean, we've seen it before in small time Indie hits like "love/death: beneath the willow" and in more than 600 Indian musical films, but this is really a first for the main-stream. I think it's high time that rich, overconfident pretty-boys and greasy goths with no self-esteem realize how right they are for each other. Bravo.


Nicky

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