HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

Nothing much clever to say... again. I'll be back in a good way some time, and then you'll know it, and you will sing and throw parties, and drink, make merry, and eat from the fruit of the nectarine. Because that is some sort of orange-like fruit. It's like, irony.

So, I'm watching "The Next Action Star" on TV. It wins! You win, okay, Next Action Star? You are the only Reality Show I kind of like. But that's probably because I'm all drama-y and all, what with the school and such. Not only do I like acting, but I like watching people pretend to cry whilst little pyrotechnic sparks explode around them. Fantasmasprokulous! I don't care that much about the internal drama, that is, the histrionics that occur between the foolish mortals partaking in these exercises in "acting". Ha ha, fools! Oh shit, I wish I were doing this.

MOTHER FUCKERS!

Still, it's pretty cool. It's going to kick ass when they try to do Matrix ripoff tricks and one of them hurts their back, and then all the women are crying and the guys are like, "This is always hard. When this happens. It's all fun and games until someone's acrobatic harness gets a little too tight."

Nah, they aren't really that articulated. Some people got voted off, but I didn't care because I don't know their names. All suffering is equal in my eyes.

I want to star in a major motion picture! They could call it "Nicky's Erotic Adventures". Or, if it's not a porno, they could call it something else! I'm really not that picky.

Wow, I just saw an ad for the Greek Olympics or whatever it's called. I guess they're in Athens. Anyway they showed footage from last time with the American girls doing gymnastics, and I saw this girl do this hella cool move where she did this... why am I telling you this? You don't care.

My Wolfenstein skills seem to have been rendered effectively null. Can not kill! I aim for the head, and yet the head eludes me. Mighty head, why must you be such a tiny target?

Okay, Last Comic Standing is pretty cool too. Fine. I like action movies and I like comedy, but that's IT! Otherwise I denounce reality television! I denounce it until it can take no more denunciation! And when it has died, we shall sing a requiem for the reality television and then Tito Puente shall sing an upbeat song and we shall dance. I don't know what he does. Does he sing? I don't know.

Okay, yesterday I read the entirety of "Scary Go Round", a frequently brilliant—ha ha! That man is gay! Sorry, I'm watching TV...—web comic. It's BRITISH! That means it's funny. I didn't learn much about British culture from it though, even though I read more than two year's worth of comics. I did learn that "tupping" is a frequently used expletive over there. I wonder when they'll discover OUR equivalent of that word. Ho ho! The British are not like us.

Today I read the entirety of "Questionable Content", another webcomic—sleeping with a golf club because he's afraid of the gay man! Ha ah ha HA ha! Sorry.—Where was I...? oh yes. It was a less daunting task than the previous one, because it's only three times a week, and it started in 2003.

I'm thinking of really doing a comic. I'll just give up on doing good art, or maybe just scan some stuff, whatever. I've got some interesting jokes, and I think those can help carry the art. Ha ha! A lie! Or is it? That's why I'm so mysterious... unclear speech.

Right. That was longer than I expected, with lots of life-enhancing spaces between paragraphs. We in the industry call those "page wasters". We in the business get very lonely at night. Hey, look:

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer

Wink!

Nicky