HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

Okay, look, I'm thinking if this acting thing doesn't work out for me after a certain amount of years, I'm going into therapy.

That is not to say, that I will be "going into therapy" but that I will in fact, seek work in the psychiatric field. Because it's what I fucking do with all my spare time. Do you know how many hours I've put into talking to people online, exercising their inner demons with them? Okay, technically, it's not a lot of hours, but I'm very good at it. Also, technically I "exorcize" the demons. I mean, I'm trying to fucking expel them by force from other people's psyche's, not tone their abs. Remember, that's "exorcize" and not "exercise." Of course, if you're interested in my inner demon EXERCISE program, I'm setting up gyms in major residential areas across the country. Check us out in New York, LA, and uh... Kentucky. I'm not sure quite how that happened. Possibly, I said "Chicago" over the phone, and the guy who's in charge of setting up the gyms, the guy on the phone, thought I'd said "Kentucky." Or I made it up.

Anyway, my point is, I seem to have a knack for talking to people, convincing them that they want to talk about stuff they don't really want to talk about, asking them demeaning questions about their mothers, and then conjecturing that they are in fact, latent homosexuals. Okay, so one third of that is actually what I do.

Try to guess which third!

No, but this seems to happen a lot. And I get some sick satisfaction talking to these poor fuckers—I call them "friends" to their faces—and then asking them "and does that make you feel angry?"

Now, keep in mind I only seem to do this over the internet. Following that logic, I could also be some kind of suave and sexy ladies man. But I can only do that on the internet. Maybe this ideas not so good. Do they have email therapists? That would kick ass.


Now, all common sense would lead me to conclude a surprisingly witty post (I'm crazy!) with that paragraph and the succinct summation that that would indeed "kick ass." However, I've never been one for common sense. Or conclusions. Okay, all I've got left to say is I've been listening to some comedy by Eddie Izzard. Should I repeat that name? It's... you know what, adjust the direction your eyes are pointing by a few centimeters. It's right there. This is writing, not speech, dipstick. Anyway, he's pretty funny. He reminds me of a young me. Actually, com to think of it, he reminds me of an older, more British, transvestite me. Still, he's pretty funny. Look around for his stuff.

I'll be seeing you. Especially YOU.

Nicky

AIM: L'aimer du Jake (not really)
MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.