HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

I forgot that I had been posting my radio script in installments. Where was I? Ah, there we are—ready? Cause this is the entire rest of the show. For the first part, see my earlier post. Oh, and if the ending seems contrived and inconclusive, it's because I like stories that don't really go anywhere and because we had to fit this to a fairly short time frame. So, heck you.

Nicky

AIM: Jake Aimer
Very small rocks. And my E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.



Rex: This case just. Got. Interesting.

5
Nazi: Show me the plutonium!

Husband: Ah-right, ah-right!

Rex: He’s opening the briefcase! (briefcase being unlatched.)
RN: Its eerie green glow lit the gloomy room, casting its pallid light on the German.

Nazi: (Gasp of awe.) Here is your 5000 dollars. (paper rustles.)

Rex: Five thousand clams! With that kinda scratch I could quit my day job and spend a few years in Tahiti.

Husband: Thanks man, I gotta go.

Rex: Uh-oh. I better wrap this up before he gets away. But first, I’ll smoke a cigarette to calm my nerves. (lighter sound, followed by puff.) Mm! Those Lucky Strikes are refreshing. They’re smoother than ice, and just as cool!
RN: As the traitor turned to leave, I jumped out from behind the corner. It was two on one, but I’d brought along backup: my old friend Charlie Six Shooter.

Rex: You’ve sold-slash-bought your last briefcase full of plutonium, Jimmy and Nazi!

RN: The Nazi was startled, and Maxine’s husband jumped higher than a kangaroo pole vaulter. I thought I was just about ready to wrap things up, but then... complications arose.

6

Unseen man with Japanese accent: Bravo, Mr. Walker.

RN: My nerves had already taken quite a beating, and they were just about ready to fight back.
Rex: Where are you? How do you know my name?

Japanese Man: Lucky guess...

RN: He said, as he stepped out of the shadows. He was a middle-aged man, with a long scar running across the right side of his face; the kind of slash Kafka would have nightmares about. He wore a white lab coat and a monocle that looked like it could look into your soul.

Japanese Man: You have done an excellent job, infiltrating our headquarters. I’m sure the government trained you well.

Rex: Ha! No government could train me as well as 15 years on the streets.

Japanese Man: Ha ha ha. I suppose not. My name is Osaka Sashimi. You are a cunning man. If you found your way here, perhaps your intellect could someday match mine. And that is why it is a pity that you must die!

7

RN: The Japanese man threw some sort of metal ball on the floor (clink!) that exploded in a cloud of smoke (pffhh!) Suddenly, six deadly ninja surrounded me, ready to strike. I called my old friend Charlie could come out to play; he was more than happy to join me. ...and the fight began. (Ninja sounds interspersed with shooting.)

8

RN: Finally, the murderous ninjas were dead. But my troubles weren’t over. Not by a long shot.

(Clink. Pffhh! Clap. Clap. Clap.)

Rex: You again!

Osaka (clapping awkwardly): Ha ha... ha... I’m more impressed than... ever, Mr...

Rex: Do you need help or anything?

Osaka: Silence! It is very difficult to clap while holding a gun!

Rex: Hm. Maybe it would be easier if you put the gun down?

Osaka (stops clapping): You are very funny, Mr. Walker. I like you. Now put up your hands.

RN: I was trapped!

9

RN: They pushed aside a painting and pressed a button behind it (use appropriate sounds. Be creative.) The wall swung around, creaking like an old granny’s rocking chair. On the other side was a giant warehouse, with Nazi guards everywhere. Osaka Sashimi watched with an evil glint in his eye while the Nazi and that no-good traitor Jimmy tied me to a chair.

Osaka: Now that I have your undivided attention. Some would consider it foolish for me to reveal my greatest plans to my most worthy adversary, but in my country, we are raised to respect our foes. You see... for the past three years, a team of 88 crazy scientists and I, have worked furiously to devise—with a generous... grant from our Nazi sponsor here—the most powerful weapon known to man. Excuse me (Nazi’s name), could you ask one of your compatriots to bring in the weapon?

Nazi: (Whatever he says, it should sound angry, and it should sound German.)

RN: A guard slowly wheeled in a giant box that was covered with some sort of cloth. The box rumbled like an angry volcano.

Osaka: Now, the weapon is still in its early stages of... development, but when it is complete, it will be much larger, and put to good use the plutonium our friend... borrowed. Ah ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha! Rex Walker-san, I present to you... Godzilla! (Godzilla yells!)

RN: One of the lackeys ripped the cloth off the box—no, it was a cage—and I saw an enormous lizard. A monster! His black and green scales glistened in the warehouse lights like a million broken mirrors. His putrid breath smelled of death. His massive claws could tear through solid steel. Now, I don’t know much about lizards, but based on the pictures I’ve seen in Lizard Fancier Monthly, I could tell it was a baby. It looked like it had just been sleeping, and it was cranky. (Plaintive shriek from Godzilla.)

10

Osaka: Isn’t he beautiful? You see, Godzilla was designed as the ultimate weapon, to strike, without mercy, the enemies of Germany.

Nazi: Starting with Japan!

Osaka: What! How can you do this to my country? It really doesn’t make any sense! We’re allies!

Nazi: Not anymore. You see, you Japanese annoy us, with your black hair and brown eyes. With your pachinko parlors and your bomber planes with the cartoon kittens. Now, Godzilla, destroy Tokyo!

Osaka: Noooooooo!

Nazi: Sashimi, you’ve served your purpose. (Bam!)

Osaka: Gah! Godzilla... avenge... my... death!

RN: With a furious roar, Godzilla tore his cage to shreds (ripping, roaring, etc.), and he stalked toward the Nazi.

Nazi: Help me my brothers!

RN: ...he cried to the guards, but they were cowering like rats in the corners. With a terrifying shriek, Godzilla crushed the nazi with his mighty scaled foot! (GYAH!!! Squash.) It was one of the most horrifying sights I’ve ever seen. I do not in any way condone murder, even if the victim is a Nazi. Nazi’s are people too (The More You Know theme plays.)
RN: Suddenly, Godzilla turned towards me, still madder than a killer be, and took a step toward me. I was finished!

12

RN: Suddenly, the skylights shattered as a dozen SWAT commandos descended into the room on cables. As they came down to the floor, they shot all the Nazis (Ahk! Mein Führer!) and then they shot Godzilla with tranquilizer darts until he collapsed! (With plaintive roar, Godzilla collapses and slams on floor.)

Marley (Southern/Texas accent): Hey there, Mr. Walker. I’m Phil Marley, captain of the SWAT team. I’d like to officially congratulate you on all you did.

Rex: Thanks, but I really didn’t do anything.

Marley: You know, that’s true.

Rex: Yeah....

Marley: So—

Rex: Yeah... I’ll just go. Now.

13

Rex: So, Maxine, that’s what happened to your husband.

Maxine: Well, at least he wasn’t cheating. Wait, what did happen to my husband?

Rex: Oh, right. They arrested him. He’ll be getting 20 to life.

Maxine: Ah.

RN: She turned to leave, but then she stopped.

Maxine: Say... you have any idea what happened to Godzilla?

Rex: Well, Ma’am, I can’t say I have. I think it’s safe to say he’s out of the picture.

RN: And he was... for a while. (Dramatic music with Godzilla scream.)