HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

I just realized that I also have a radio drama. And, because Nicky posted his, I will post Mine. Well, not all of it, most of it is crap. In fact, all of it is crap. Don't bother to finish,
Radio Drama

By Lukas (The Locked Up Monkey), Haden, Michael, Alex, and Ashley

N: Last week, we witnessed the thrilling conclusion to the Stranded Island Trilogy, and now we give birth to another dramatic series of events; The Reckless Life Of Sean Perou.

N: Daylight breaks over the Perou's household.

(Birds)

At 8:00, the phone rings, waking Sean from his restless slumber.

(Ring)

S: ARGHHH!!!! Eh? PHONE! EH? Hello!?

K: We have your wife.

S: Huh? Wh- No, I'm not married!

K: Er, then we have your girlfriend.

S: Not Dating...

K: Fine, we have your significant other.

S: What? You have my mother?

K:... Yeah.... Leave $2,000 at the corner at noon... And don't call the cops.

(Click)

N: Naturally, Sean did exactly what he should have done, and called the cops.

(Ring)

O: Hello?

S: Hello, I'm calling to report a kidnapping.

O: Sure ya are, hun.

S: Wha? NO, I am!

O: Listen kid, I have better things to do. Stop calling me when I could be listening to Girl Talk.

(Click)

N: Sean looked at his options. He had to get the money.

S: Piggey-bank!

(Footsteps)

(Crash)

N: $26 dollars and 82 cents... His only option left was his brother in New York.

(Ring)

B: Hello?

S: Hey Bret,

N: Sean decided it would be best to make some small talk first.

S: So, how 'bout 'dem Yankees?

B: Oh... Don't talk to me about them... I just lost $2,000 dollars, my life's savings, on one of their games last night.

S: Oh, cause, well, I think Mom's been kidnapped or something.

B: Really?

S: Yeah.

B: You better play hero then. Find the guy and give him a good knocking for me. And, while you're at it, oil Mom's fake arm, its been acting up again.

(Click)

N: Sean exited out into the street, and looked around for clues. Suddenly, a pen in the middle of the road caught his attention, and Sean ran towards it, (Cars swerve and honk.) Narowly being missed by the passing cars.

S: It seems to be pointing... Into the woods!

N: So Sean ran off into the woods, entering a suspicious looking clearing.

S: That log looks suspicious! Let me turn it over!

(Cracking sound)

S: Footprints!

N: And so, with a fresh footprint trail, Sean gallops, (Horse steps) er, runs, (Footsteps) off into the woods to peruse his mother's kidnapper. We will continue this story after these messages from our sponsors.

M: BADABUMBUMBUM!!!!! I'm lovin it. The best time of the year, lets go spread Mother's day cheer.
A: GUess what's new at McDonalds just in time for mother's day! Buy a big mac and get one free! Also, mothers day mugs! Buy a # 2 value meal and get a mug for only $1.99! Only for a limited time only while supplies last.
Ba da ba ba ba! I'm lovin' it.

A: This is Shaq! Need a mother's day present? Is she a virgo? I have your thing! Buy a vermont teddy bear with a peridot in the center-- Slammin'!

A: Interested in Hale Appleman?

A: You know you loved him as Javert, and his recent role as the sexy Don Pedro. Come join the hale fan club!

A: Do you think he is a good actor? Come to 444 Central Park West and sign up to be the Hale Fan Club. Only cool people are invited. Business Hours are 3-3:30 P.M., better make it!

A: Forever Hale! Ya!!!!

N: And now, back to the thrilling first chapter in the Sean Perou Saga.
We bring you now to the cabin in which Sean's mother is being held captive.

M: Wheres the car you wanted to sell me?

K: There's no car.

M: Did the Tax people take it? You know, I knew they were up to no good.

K: Listen lady, I kidnapped you for money,

M: Money? Back in my day I sold lemonade. Every summer we would set up our stand, me and my sister Betty- she's dead now- and work our way through the summer. The Applemans, good bless them, bought lemonade every day. And I'll be damned if we didn't make the best lemonade in our town. We lived in a small suburb in Cali-

K: AHHH! (Hit)

M: Oh! That wasn't very nice... It isn't right to hit people. But, you hit me in my fake arm, so it's alright.

N: All of a sudden, Sean, who had been diligently following the footprints, flew through the door shouting.

(Door slam)

S: Mother!

M: Are you here to make lemonade as well?

S: I'm going to save you mother!

K: Oh no!

(Window breaking)

N: The kidnapper through himself out the window, leaving his pistol lying in a corner, where Sean snatched it up.

(Meow)

M: Hurry Sean, that car salesman has my cat!

(Meow)

S: I'm on it mom!

N: And Sean climbed out the window after him, grabbing the gun from the corner.

(Gun open)

N: Sean opened the gun, revealing the one lone bullet in the chamber. He took careful aim.

(Bang)

N: Time seemed the slow for Sean, as he watched the gun recoil, and the kidnaper began to make a dash for the cover of the brambles. Frozen, he could almost see the bullet fly forth from the chamber, heading directly for the kidnapper.

(Bullet whiz)

K: Ow! My foot!

(Footsteps)

S: Tibbles! (Meow) Are you alright? (Meow) Good, go to mama.

You!

K: Me?

S: Why'd you do it?

K: Money

S: I don't (Hit) believe you!

K: Why not?

S: What kind of sick creature (Hit) kidnaps a cat at the risk of his own life?

K: I'm sorry, I had to do it, they made me!

S: Who made you?

K: It was... (Thwack)

N: At that moment, a poison dart had shot past Sean into the Kidnappers neck. Sean whirled around, as a camouflaged Helicopter spun its rotors (Chopping) and sprung into the sky. Sean watched as the masked man took off into the afternoon sky, and Sean found himself plunging into a dark world so deep, there would be no return... Join us next time for the next installment of The Sean Perou Saga, on (Sing) WADD, 102.9!

And Now! Girl talk!

C: I just farted and it really stinks! How do I stop?

P: Try a laxative!! Duhhhhh!

(ha ha...)

P: Hi! I'm peaches!

C: And I'm chelsea!

B: And we're on girl talk! Yay!

(...squirt?...)

C: Uhh, what was that?

P: It's my new Laucome lip gloss!

C: How much did it cost?

P: Who cares! My mom doesn't even pay attention to me. She just gives me her credit card every day so she can deal with her corrupt pharmaceutical company!

C: Duhhh! I'm so stupid!

P: So, we've got Machelley on the line. Hey Machelley, what's your problem?

M: What? Umm, can I have a large pepperoni with NO FAT, and a Diet Coke, actually, I'll just have a spring water, and...

C: Huh? This is girl talk.

M: Girl talk pizzeria?

C: Umm, no.

M: Wrong number, sorry, bye!

C: I can't believe this!

P: YOu know Chelsea, no one has ever actually called in for some advice!

B: Whateverrrrrr!

C: Alright, so we have, um, who is this?

D: Ummm, my wife just kicked me out...

C: Ohhhhh! Someone actually called in!

D: Wait a second, I don't have a wife, she left me 3 years ago!

P: Must've taken the wrong medication!

C: You know I did that once. Actually, I do it a lot of times.

P: Chelsea, we're on air!

C: Whoops! Sorry, we're out of time!

B: See us next time!

C: You mean hear us, Peaches.

P: What? Oh, whatever!

C: Yeah, so, listen to girl talk tomorrow at 12 P.M. Or is it A.M.?

B: (...laugh...) Girl talk!*

Do Do Do Do Do...

M: We interrupt this program to bring you an exclusive interview. SOme say President Bush is a bumbling idiot driving our country into the ground! But, let's see if there are any callers to disagree.................................................................... NO callers? Alright! We have George W. Bush on the line to give us an interview!

B: Good Afternoon, My fellow Americans.

M: Um, It's Six A.M.

B: Sorry, mah bad.

M: Right, Anyway, there's been a large disagreement to many of the choices you have made as president. What do you have to say to this?

B: Well, I believe that many of the people who make these judgments are politically uneducated, and stupid.

M: Mr. President, many of these people are actually politicians.

B: Well, they probably had their path to politics made by their fathers.

M: I'm sorry Mr. President, but we're replacing you be something more interesting, because our rating seems to have dropped 84%... Bring in Joe-Joe!

(Monkey Noises)

M: Joe Joe! I hear you have something for us?

(Whimpers)

M: Joe Joe, don't be mean!

(Whimpering)

M: Sally!

S: I'm on it boss! (Cattle prod hiss)

(SCREAMING)

M: It seems Joe Joe isn't doing too well, but, when he was locked up in the bathroom, he wrote some interesting things on the wall, lets hear it, shall we?


I used to be free and live up in the sky,
Now I wish I could curl up and die,
I used to swing from the yellow-green vines,
Now in my eyes there are blood red lines,

I used to play with the wild living creatures,
Now they have scarred all my physical features,
They lock me inside of a dirty bathroom,
Instead of the trees there's the wood of a broom,

I once swam in a sea filled with Cod,
Now all is see is a hot cattle prod,
If they beat me once more I might try to fight back,
Put it really depends on the bone they might crack,

But what they tell me is that they are so fine,
And so you must listen to WADD 102.9


M:... That was... Interesting... Joe Joe... Well, I... Um, think its very good he knows how to write! And, Its 12 minutes past the hour, and you're listening to WADD 102.9!

M: The weather right now is cloudy with a chance of meatballs, and it's best to avoid the hudson river, if you're driving, as it's very wet this time of the millennium. Today's lucky numbers are 2, 4, 6, 8, 11, 13, 17 ! Lets turn it over to The music makers, and once more, you're listening to WADD 102.9!


If you made it through all of that, I'll give you a clap on tha back if I ever see meet you.

MY E-MAIL! Scipio.now@earthlink.net .
AIM: Hopes Addict