HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

And you, my friend, are an ass. This is going to a be a short post, I just thought I'd check in, thus proving I still exist, or that I was replaced with a super smart robot. Or a small electric appliance, like an iron or teakettle. Apparently the appliances are actually more eligible bachelors than myself. Four out of five girls said they would prefer to date the iron or teakettle because they are "hotter, and that's more important than the fact that they are more likely to hurt me, burn me, and give me blisters." I disagree; I've given blisters to my fair share of girls. Burning Love, I call it. Euhhhhh.

You see what happens when I think of one little thing (in this case, replacements for me) and my mind runs with it, the way I would run with a football while evading quarterbacks, halfbacks, backracks, hardtacks and the like. That is to say, poorly.

Right, right, so... shit. I forgot what the hell I was- oh right, that commercial! Fucking bad commercial. Stupid whosey. Whoever Waynes, I don't know which one he is. Anyway, it's annoying; almost as bad as that... oh my god. The other one I hate is also a Pepsi commercial! I hadn't noticed! They seriously need to fire all their marketers.

What else? I've just started listening to this Scottish band, Franz Ferdinand. They're really rather cool. Look into the song "The Dark of the Matinée", it's good. They're really good.

I'm watching this movie "Repli-Kate" on UPN. So, it's UPN. So, it sucks. Okay, so these college guys are assistant scientists and stuff. Theirs this reporter lady girl and this guy accidentally clones her, creating a fully grown clone. Who is very hot, of course, because so was the original. So then the guy and his horny friend, who is inexplicably cockney—maybe it's a desperately bad pun—decide to teach the clone so she exhibits stereotypical "man" behavior—loving to watch sports and drink beer and have sex all the time, and such. You know, not all guys are like that! I do not just want to watch sports and drink beer all the time! Anyway, they do this, and of course wacky hijinks ensue, especially after the original Kate (the girl they cloned) returns from wherever the hell she went, and then they have to hide the two from each other. Well, it's a terrible, terrible movie. Not as bad as "Never Been Kissed", but pretty bad. The only time the movie is any fun is when the clone is trying to get other girls to engage in group sex with her and some guy, because she learned about sex from porno movies. Look, I'm not saying that's a high point in cinematic history, in fact, it's rather sad that that's the best part of this movie.

So, I didn't have a lot of witty things to say, but I did string together a number of words in a specific sequence. And you know, sentences are like snowflakes: each one is different.

Ha ha, that's a little joke for you there. Yep, it was a little pun. No it wasn't.

Well, it wasn't a pun. Uh yeah, so now that my existence, or the existence of electric appliances has been reestablished, I must ride off into the sunset. Actually it's 10:00 PM. I'll just ride off into the moonness, or the darkset. That's a cool word, isn't it? Darkset! Sounds like a bad Indie graphic novel. Darkset Ironclad: Nightmare Avenger! He comes from the world of dreams, waging epic battles on the Dreamscape of the human mind! Oh this is good, I should be writing this shit down!

Oh, I forgot to mention, while I'm still thinking about earlier childhood nostalgia, I saw a girl with this t-shirt that said "GAIA" in big green letters. And right there, on her chest, CAPTAIN PLANET, fucking flying RIGHT at me. And I really wanted to just stare at Captain Planet and take in his Mullet of Majesty, but you know, it was right on her chest. Made me feel creepy. But I just wanted to look at Captain Planet. After all, he's our hero.

He's going to bring pollution down to zero.

Okay, well, I'm going now.

Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.
AIM: Jake Aimer