HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

Ouch! It hurts! What's happening to poor Nicky? Is he being attacked by a hungry leprauchan? Did Nicky accidentally swallow a vial of hydrochloric acid?

No! He's watching an episode of Saturday Night Live that he taped last night!

Yeah, anyway. SNL isn't good anymore. I'm sure you all know this. But, it is actually painful, to watch this show. I don't know why I'm watching it. It's like, they say something, and I'm like, "Gyuh!" They had this sketch thing on... actually, I don't remember. I must have blanked it out. But it was terrible.

Remember when SNL used to be funny? I don't. Because I wasn't alive when it was still funny. Or maybe I was, but I was very young. I've seen the repeats on Comedy Central, and they're much better. They're not that good, but they're sometimes funny. But they had real people on the show, not comedians that are really, really, bad. Remember Chris Rock? Remember Chris Farley, David Spade, Adam Sandler, even Chris Kattan? What about Will Ferrel? Come on! Oh yeah, but they've got uh... Jimmy Fallon! And uh... Tina Faye. I don't even know how to spell that. I mean, Tracy Morgan wasn't bad, but he's gone too. It's a real problem that all the good actors leave the show to get their own sitcoms and star in movies. Because, the the writing sure isn't going to compensate for the actors. There are ten thousand GOOD screenwriters out there; why do you have to choose the however many MOST MEDIOCRE writers in the United States? And, for God's sake, who was the executive that approved the sketch about those sopranos in the school choir who kept having competitions on who could sing the highest. Wow, Elijah Woods pretending to be a soprano in a school chorus? That's incredible.

And how can the audience clap along and cheer? Honestly, I think they do it out of pity. Because I know when I watch the show, I get this tight, unhappy feeling in my stomach, which in fact, has an unhappy tight feeling in its stomach, whose stomach, in fact, is filled with tiny, angry, Mexican jumping beans. And they're, uh, on fire.

Okay, I probably have to mention something about Sadaam being captured. Yeah, it took so long to capture Sadaam that... ah, fuck it. Yay, they caught him. But I thought we were supposed to find weapons of mass destruction and rebuild Iraq, not find Sadaam.

Also, I'd like to take a second to endorse my Favoritest Democratic candidate. That's right everyone, Dennis Kucinich. He's the most liberal of the bunch, with the best policies. Okay, look, I can't say I know that much about him, but my mom does, and she'll tell you a lot. Because, seriously, most kids don't really know politics; they just go along with what their parents tell them. Once again, I've forgotten my point. But I do know Dennis Kucinich is real cool. Some of you may not have heard of him. He is in fact, the least popular democratic candidate of all the... however many there are. I think that's mostly because most people haven't heard of him. The so-called "liberal" news NEVER mentions him. You know why he'll never win? He's too liberal, and FOX News is not going to mention him. So no one will ever hear of him, except for people that listen to 99.5 WBAI. Also, his name is hard to spell. I mean, I had to check on Google to spell it right. And I like the guy. Anyway, I gots to go. I'll try to update more, but I get tired. So, see ya.

Nicky

MY E-MAIL! Okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.