HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

I've noticed that no one ever posts to my really angsty stuff. Fair enough.

So, I've been thinking for a while about a man. A man with a plan. That man?

Cuba.

Gooding.

Jr.

Right, so he has a plan: the plan? Let me list.

1. To make one good movie every ten years, starting with Jerry Maguire, in 1995.
2. To turn out as many shitty movies as he can in the interim.
3. During the fulfillment of step 2, cause a maximum of embarrassment to the African American race.

Cuba Throughout the Ages

1995: Jerry Maguire "Okay, it's not bad. Jonathan Lipnicki is cute at this point."

1997: As Good as it Gets "Well... it's got Jack Nicholson and a funny little dog. It can pass."

2000: Men of Honor "It has... Robert Deniro... so... I guess...."

2001: Pearl Harbor "The destruction of lots of people overlayed by a crappy love story and millions of dollars worth of uninteresting special effects. Woot!"

2001: Rat Race "Yay, let's put together some of the world's worst actors and hope a poorly written script will save it."

2002: Snow Dogs "No, I just... No. Look, when your co-stars are anthropomorphic dogs, you're running out of career opportunities."

2002: Boat Trip "AH HAH HAH HAH! He is on a gay cruise, and yet, he is not gay. Magical!"

2003: Radio "Ah, the latest humiliation. 'Today I shall play a retarded yet inspirational football fan. Hey, that sounds like most football fans and players, except inspirational."

You, know what? Looking at this list, I actually think the quality of his movies has declined during the past eight years. How can you go from "Jerry Maguire" to "Snow Dogs" in eight years? Jeez.

Is he supposed to be a role-model for aspiring black actors around the world? I sincerely hope not.


Nicky

Once again, my contact information is okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.