HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!!

Today our school let out early for some reason. I have no idea why. Hey, wait, actually know exactly why; there was a meeting for the teachers. What I really don't know is why I pretended I didn't know why we got out of school early. Heh.

So anyway, I got out at 2:30, a full hour earlier than normal, and there were some places nearby that I wanted to go to. There was a public library, which I chilled at for a while, then I headed down to the Starbucks Bookstore Frapuccino. I mean Barnes and Nobles. I looked for drawing books for a while, but I actually didn't. I bought some sort of cold beverage that cost from 75-100% more than it should. Anyway, after depleting my wallet, and grabbing my "Uberhuge" (that means small) beverage, I headed back down the four... or fifteen... floors, I noticed something very strange, and frightening. There were these three kids little Asian kids in various different shades of camouflage clothing. I mean, their entire clothing was camouflage. They had shirts and matching camouflage pants. I guess they were brothers or something and children of the woman next to them.

At first I thought she was poor so she must have shopped at the army surplus store (because there are a lot of military supplies not being used these days) but then a far more frightening idea occured; someone is training an army of little Asian kids to invade, and, eventually enslave, America. Come on, we've all seen it before; those pictures of the little Asian kids smoking cigars and jumping through the air with twin AKs, John Woo-style as they mowed down battalions of Nazis. Well, I guess, my memory's not so good. But the cigar thing is true. And I know that in some of those tiny Asian countries where they're constantly at war, they have a lot of really young kids as soldiers.

Also, at the US Open qualifiers, there were all these ball-people, who were probably in their late teens, early twenties, and there was this one Asian kid, like, seven years old. And he stood in the hot sun the whole time, body completely rigid with his hands clasped behind his back. And whenever a ball would go astray, he'd run really fast and leap in the air to catch the ball before it bounced again, and he'd land in a roll. Then, he'd take out his Dostovels and waste all the Nazis. They weren't so smug then, were they, with their big fancy white sheets and their crosses. Or where they the KKK? Hmm... well, I don't know. But that little Asian kid was scary.

So, that's what I think the camouflage is all about. Some highly sinister organization is making an army made entirely of little Asian kids, and the worst thing is we'll be powerless to stop them, with all our troops abroad, playing roulette and shooting missiles at caves. And then we'll have to retaliate by bombing China or Japan, because our Fearless Leader can't pronounce names like Kazakhstan, where the most of the kids will probably be coming from.

Anyway, I don't have that much proof yet, but I just think you should keep your eyes out. If you see a little Asian kid wearing camouflage, call 311. It's everyone's favorite near-emergency number.

Nicky

And as always, if you have ANYTHING to tell me, do it: okayeahwhatever@yahoo.com.